Question:
Wouldn't two atheists be more compatible than an atheist and a theist?
Response:
It is certainly reasonable to wonder whether an atheist and a theist would be as compatible as two people of the same position — two atheists or two theists. After all, even if an atheist and a theist can make a marriage work, it may not be worth all of the extra effort required if an easier and more productive marriage can be formed elsewhere.
This, however, raises the question of just what "compatible" means. What makes two people compatible in marriage, anyway? The above question seems to assume that the issue of theism is by itself sufficient to make two people compatible or incompatible — but that isn't very likely, is it? Are a fundamentalist Christian and a fundamentalist Muslim compatible simply because both are theists? Are a humanist and a racist compatible if both are atheists?
Obviously the answer to both questions is "no," which means that we cannot regard the matter of theism as a make-or-break issue for marriage compatibility. Theism may not be wholly irrelevant, but there are a host of other elements which must be taken into account before two people can decide whether they might be compatible or not.
Because of this, it isn't too difficult to imagine an atheist and a theist being much, much more compatible with each other than two other atheists or two other theists. If the atheist and theist share in common many basic values, attitudes, and perspectives on life, then the chances of them being compatible and being able to create a long-lasting and solid marriage are very good.
The answer to the opening question, then, is clearly a definitive "no" — atheists and theists can definitely be very compatible, and sometimes more compatible with each other than with someone sharing their viewpoint on gods. Unfortunately, there are some who persist in thinking just the opposite. But why? In some cases, this is simply a result of ignorance — not everyone is aware of the fact that disagreement over the existence of god(s) doesn't not necessarily mean further and more consequential disagreements.
More unfortunate is the fact that this is sometimes a result of simple bigotry — the idea that there is something fundamentally wrong either with atheists or theists, and hence that a relationship with one is not possible or not desirable. Such bigotry can come from both atheists and theists, I'm sad to say, and it is always reprehensible. There is no excuse for it because contradictory facts and examples are numerous and easy to find. Nevertheless, some people are more comfortable holding on to prejudice and disdain if it makes them feel more important and "better" than others.
