Mailbag: Apology From a Christian, Part 3
Subject: Thoughts From a Non-Stereotypical Christian
In their defense (as weak as it may be), most Christians are taught to "spread the Word," and I would imagine that's what most of them think they're doing. I don't mean to excuse their lack of respect and un-Christian-like behavior. They know neither what "spread the Word" means nor how to do it. And I would still maintain that what they do do is designed more to ameliorate their own insecurities.
I agree that, for many Christians, have a strong need to convince others to believe as they do. This is characteristic of evangelical Christian traditions (you don’t see many Catholics or Orthodox doing it, after all). Matt may be right that such behavior stems at least as much from the psychological need not to be alone as it does from theological doctrines.
Everyone wants to be right; no one wants to be wrong. One means for dealing with this is to try to get others to agree. There is safety in numbers — or, at least, the appearance of safety in numbers. If lots of people believe as you do, it’s easier to silence doubts and imagine that you are absolutely correct. It’s not easy to adopt a position that is radically different from everyone else’s, especially if others keep telling you that you are wrong.
But I respect your beliefs or lack thereof, and admire your maintaining the integrity of your position. If this means anything: if I had the choice of spending eternity (whether it be heaven or hell) with you or an insecure fanatic, I'd choose the former ;-) And dude, as much as I wish you didn't have to deal with them at all, keep up those incredible responses. At the very least, they're entertaining.
I’ve said on more than one occasion that, given the choice between a skeptical Christian and a gullible atheist, I’d rather be stranded on a deserted island with the Christian than with the atheist. I don’t know if Matt is simply returning the favor or came up with this on his own — either way, it’s nice to find the sentiment returned.
I think that we’d all be far better off if we strove to find fundamental similarities that cut across more the obvious and attractive barriers. Here, the similarities lies in valuing integrity and skepticism over the division of Christian vs. atheist. In politics one might focus on the similarity of valuing medical insurance over the obvious division of Democrat vs. Republican.
There are a lot of obvious things which separate us and, being obvious, are easy to focus upon. This can cause us to lose sight of similarities which can be much more important. It may be easier to focus on the differences, and such focus need not be illegitimate. We shouldn’t, however, let that distract us from those commonalities.
And if any Christian is going to show you any love in the name of God, let it be through my understanding and compassion. FYI -- I'm going to pray to night; but not for you, not for anyone. I pray that His will be done.
I’ve complained more than once about Christians who insist that they are going to “pray” for me when there’s no apparent reason for telling me (why not just do it without the public announcement?). Not only does Matt recognize the validity of that question, but it looks like he might have noticed that before I pointed it out. Pity that more don’t join him.
More selections from the Agnosticism / Atheism Mailbag...
Comments
In my experience “I’ll pray for you” is more often delivered in contexts that translate it as “Eff you” (I don’t know how you deal with strong language on these comments).
And just as often a man I know will say “I’ll pray for you” , and I will say, is there anything I can do to help?
Eric. When I put my post under yours, and compared, it turns out that you are right! It still translates:“Eff you” I thought I was saying something profound and different.
When a Christian says “I’ll pray for you” just answer “That’s ok, my Muslim neighbour is already praying for me.”
Marc, you’re missing an opportunity to saying something like… “Great, i’ve got a Muslim praying for me, a Buddhist burning incense for me and a Jewish person spinning a dreidel. Now i’ve all my bases covered!”
How about, ‘Positive energy is always appreciated”
99 percent of the timem, “I will pray for you” is nothing but poorly-disguised hostility.
I like the rejoinder about the Muslim neighbor who already has it covered.
If I’m ever stranded on a desert island, I hope it will be with a christian. Because I know that with all the praying he/she will be doing will get us off the island before we run out coconuts. Yeah, right!
my parents, who are still religious, would occasionally email or call me to “pray” for one thing or another. When I pointed out the obvious (they know I’m an atheist) , my mother would reply that since I was a non believer, my prayers would more likely be listened to.