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Chicomecoatl, Serpent Goddess of Maize in Aztec Religion, Mythology
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Chicomecoatl was the Aztec goddess of maize, food, and fertility. If you want to play it safe, you can imitate the Aztecs who worshipped Chicomecoatl by ritually sacrificing a young girl: first they beheaded her, then they poured her blood over a statue of Chicomecoatl, then they flayed her so that a priest could wear her skin. Of course, the authorities might think that you're just imitating the Silence of the Lambs, but it's a question of religious freedom, right?

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Comments
April 17, 2010 at 7:24 pm
(1) MikeC says:

The only thing I’ll sacrifice for Her is my waistline.

I sure love me some corn. I’ll have to remember to thank Her the next time I have some.

February 24, 2013 at 10:47 am
(2) Grandpa In The East says:

I think anytime children are served corn in the school cafeteria they should be forced to pray to the great Chicomecoatl, you know, “Say Grace.” Whatever the heck that means!

Grandpa

P.S. OK…..I was only kidding. But it would be nice to voice a word of thanks to the Pig or Cow that gave it’s life to make a contribution to the children’s noontime meal. Better yet, how about an afternoon field-trip to a slaughter house where the screaming is in constant surround sound.

February 25, 2013 at 11:34 am
(3) Cousin Ricky says:

@Grandpa – I made a field trip to a slaughterhouse when I was a child (probably in my tweens). It was explicitly pointed out to us impressionable children that the animals were slaughtered in such a manner that they did not suffer. The animals were killed instantly with a bolt to the skull, and there was no screaming.

Contrast that to a video I recently saw of a kosher slaughterhouse, where the cattle were butchered alive, dumped bodily into a pit, and left flailing in their own blood; and the screaming was like Dante’s worse nightmare. I’ll never look at Hebrew National franks the same way. Higher authority indeed.

I was Christian at the time, where sacrifice of a child to an Aztec deity was an unspeakable horror, but the (attempted) sacrifice of a child to a Hebrew deity was an admirable act. You know I’m speaking of Isaac; they didn’t tell us about Jephthah’s daughter or the 32 virgins in Numbers 31.

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