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Austin Cline

Did Tom Cruise Eat Katie Holmes' Placenta?

By April 21, 2006

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So, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have had their first child, a girl they've named Suri but which the media has dubbed TomKitten. Before the birth, it was reported that Tom Cruise was determined to eat the placenta - a practice common in some cultures but which is a bit odd in America.

The Mirror reported:

The Mission Impossible star, 43, said: “I’m gonna eat the placenta. I thought that would be good. Very nutritious. I’m gonna eat the cord and the placenta right there.” It is the latest in a series of increasingly strange outbursts from Cruise in the run-up to the birth.

He has claimed the baby, due any day, will be delivered in total silence.

The Top Gun star also insisted he “sensed” fiancee Katie was pregnant before she told him.

And he has blurted out details of the couple’s sex life, saying: “It’s spectacular.”

Yirmumah has a comic about what it might have been like — how Katie Holmes was kept in total silence for the birth and how eager Tom Cruise was to get a hold of that yummy placenta. I wonder if he really did make Placenta Tacos?

Cruise told GQ magazine Hubbard had discovered making a noise had a “negative spiritual effect” on someone giving birth. He insisted that 27-year-old Katie would be allowed to scream, adding cryptically: “It is really about respecting the woman. It’s not about her screaming.

“And scientifically it is proven. Now there are medical research papers that say when a woman’s giving birth everyone should be quiet.”

I’ll bet those “medical research papers” are printed in the same journals which publish the details about how Tom Cruise is personally able to get addicts off of heroin in just a few days.

In related Tom Cruise news, Parade magazine recently held a poll on whether people thought that Cruise’s recent public relations problems were more his fault or more the media’s fault. Votes were overwhelmingly against the media — and overwhelmingly from just a couple of computers:

Parade publicist Alexis Collado tells website PageSix.com, “We at Parade found this a little bit fishy, so we did some investigating. We found out more than 14,000 (of the 18,000-plus votes) that came in were cast from only 10 computers! One computer was responsible for nearly 8,400 votes alone, all blaming the media for Tom’s troubles.”

Collado added, “We also discovered that at least two other machines were the sources of inordinate numbers of votes. It seems these folks (whoever they may be) resorted to extraordinary measures to try to portray Tom in a positive light for the Parade.com survey. There is even a chance they wrote a special ‘bot’ program for the sole purpose of skewing the results, rather than casting the votes by hand on a computer.”

Tom Cruise, through his spokesman, denies any involvement. I’m not sure if anyone asked the Church of Scientology for an official comment, though. If they could identify the computers responsible for most of the votes, they should be able to identify where those computers physically were — and that could give us a good idea of who rigged the voting in favor of Tom Cruise.

 

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Comments
April 21, 2006 at 9:38 pm
(1) Michael says:

the whole incident where tom cruise mentioned he would eat it was a joke, it was during an interview, and he was making fun of how weird people think he is. so he made a dumb joke about eating the placenta. how in the world the media picked it up and passed it on as legite news and seriousness is beyond me. guess it was a slow news day

May 5, 2006 at 4:18 pm
(2) Andrew says:

Cruise must have over-estimated how much the public knows about Scientology; if he intended his comments as a joke, it apparently wasn’t taken as one by many people. Or maybe he was simply playing the public as fools in an act of elitism.

You can see a similar phenomenon on some of the Yahoo message boards. Every now and then you’ll see a post from some nutjob advocating some extremist position or espousing some vile or ultra-radical view. Sometimes such posters turn out to be trolls, but the inside joke is that there really are such people out there for real who actually believe the outrageous nonsense they post. When someone posts insisting that the Earth is only 6,000 years old, fossils are a trick of the devil and all scientists ARE going to hell, in response to some evolution article, it can sometimes be difficult to distinguish the trolls from the true wackos.

I do have one comment, technical, about the article itself:
If they could identify the computers responsible for most of the votes, they should be able to identify where those computers physically were

Not necessarily. A lot would depend on how the offenders’ network is set up. Some Internet addresses (IP addresses) change over time; most ISP’s charge more for a “sticky” or “static” IP address which remains the same over time. Given a specific IP address, one might be able to determine the general geographic region (a city or part of a city), but not necessarily the exact physical address. The ISP could probably determine it, but very likely wouldn’t without a court order.

January 31, 2011 at 10:02 am
(3) west says:

Athiest? as an athiest I would think you don’t buy in to such trivial tripe. check your facts and present something half decent. Cruise was joking when he made the statement. Similar case with the birth of their child, there is nothing wrong with wanting a nice quite delivery room for your wife.

April 27, 2012 at 4:58 pm
(4) bruno says:

even as a joke, is a very untasteful one … no pun intended

May 5, 2012 at 1:02 am
(5) E says:

It’s “distasteful.”

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