1) Your boy has a strong feeling he is “different from other boys.” As we all know, boys must feel exactly like all other boys, or else they are clearly homosexual.
2) “A tendency to cry easily, be less athletic, and dislike the roughhousing that other boys enjoy.” Of course, on a relative scale, some boys are bound to be less athletic than others. Well, sorry. These boys are gay.
3) “A persistent preference to play female roles in make-believe play.” When you see him play cowboys and Indians, and he wants to be the squaw... uh, oh.
4) “A strong preference to spend time in the company of girls and participate in their games and other pastimes.” For example, boys must never play with their sisters. Isn’t that the leading cause of homosexuality right there?
5) “A susceptibility to be bullied by other boys, who may tease them unmercifully and call them ‘queer,’ ‘fag’ and ‘gay.’” Yes, parents, if the kid next door calls your son a fag, then he is. Four year-old neighbors have a sixth sense: They see gay people.
6) “A tendency to walk, talk, dress and even ‘think’ effeminately.” Effeminate thinking is destroying our nation; someone better tell Condoleeza Rice.
7). “A repeatedly stated desire to be -- or insistence that he is -- a girl.” This is the clearest sign. Apparently, your young homosexual will actually announce his sexual orientation by telling you, while drinking his juicy-juice, that he is actually a girl. Not a gay. A girl.
According to Dobson, any boy displaying “several” of these signs should be rushed off for professional help right away — before reaching puberty. Evidently, once the boys hit puberty the adolescent hormones kick in and teens experience “great waves of guilt accompanied by secret fears of divine retribution.” I guess parents aren’t supposed to consider that this could be alleviated by ceasing to promote narrow-minded religious ideas about homosexuality.
It’s curious that the document in question appears to be about both boys and girls, but only signs of “gender confusion” in boys are listed. It’s almost as if girls don’t really count.