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Austin Cline

Is Your Boy Gay? How To Tell...

By August 15, 2005

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Religious conservatives must spend a lot of time worrying about whether their boys will grow up to be gay. I guess a gay son can't be counted upon to ensure the preservation of masculinity and masculine control of society in the future.

Gene Stone reproduces (with commentary) the seven signs of "gender confusion" in boys 5 to 11 which Focus on the Family says parents should watch out for:

1) Your boy has a strong feeling he is “different from other boys.” As we all know, boys must feel exactly like all other boys, or else they are clearly homosexual.

2) “A tendency to cry easily, be less athletic, and dislike the roughhousing that other boys enjoy.” Of course, on a relative scale, some boys are bound to be less athletic than others. Well, sorry. These boys are gay.

3) “A persistent preference to play female roles in make-believe play.” When you see him play cowboys and Indians, and he wants to be the squaw... uh, oh.

4) “A strong preference to spend time in the company of girls and participate in their games and other pastimes.” For example, boys must never play with their sisters. Isn’t that the leading cause of homosexuality right there?

5) “A susceptibility to be bullied by other boys, who may tease them unmercifully and call them ‘queer,’ ‘fag’ and ‘gay.’” Yes, parents, if the kid next door calls your son a fag, then he is. Four year-old neighbors have a sixth sense: They see gay people.

6) “A tendency to walk, talk, dress and even ‘think’ effeminately.” Effeminate thinking is destroying our nation; someone better tell Condoleeza Rice.

7). “A repeatedly stated desire to be -- or insistence that he is -- a girl.” This is the clearest sign. Apparently, your young homosexual will actually announce his sexual orientation by telling you, while drinking his juicy-juice, that he is actually a girl. Not a gay. A girl.

According to Dobson, any boy displaying “several” of these signs should be rushed off for professional help right away — before reaching puberty. Evidently, once the boys hit puberty the adolescent hormones kick in and teens experience “great waves of guilt accompanied by secret fears of divine retribution.” I guess parents aren’t supposed to consider that this could be alleviated by ceasing to promote narrow-minded religious ideas about homosexuality.

It’s curious that the document in question appears to be about both boys and girls, but only signs of “gender confusion” in boys are listed. It’s almost as if girls don’t really count.

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Comments
April 19, 2007 at 1:17 pm
(1) James says:

That document is the most rubbish, completely false thing I have ever read.

July 29, 2007 at 8:07 pm
(2) Ben Dover says:

James’s response suggests that he himself is gay…

September 17, 2007 at 8:00 pm
(3) God says:

This is the most retarded thing I’ve ever read. Please, commit suicide.

March 1, 2008 at 6:56 pm
(4) Ryan says:

Hey, YOUR A STUPID F***

im serious your ignorant ass should go off and blow your fucking head

This Is Shit and i hope you die a horrably painful death

August 7, 2008 at 9:25 pm
(5) Judy says:

Mt father is an Atheist and I think you people are STUPID, DUMB ASS IDIOTS that can’t even read or write English! Go have offspring with your sisters…what a joke this advice is!

May 15, 2012 at 6:06 am
(6) karthi says:

i am also an intresed in i also had this type of problem

August 8, 2008 at 6:17 am
(7) Austin Cline says:

what a joke this advice is!

Did you not notice that the “advice” comes from Focus on the Family and is being criticized?

June 4, 2011 at 2:45 am
(8) Ryochi says:

Then take it off of here, a**hole!

June 4, 2011 at 9:06 pm
(9) Austin Cline says:

Then take it off of here, a**hole!

Right, because any criticism that someone might misunderstand shouldn’t be here at all.

Makes a lot of sense.

August 28, 2008 at 10:09 am
(10) Loop says:

Are you people complete idiots? This wasn’t advice–it was MOCKING advice posted elsewhere. Honestly, people–learn to read before you comment on an article. Morons.

October 16, 2008 at 11:34 pm
(11) Steve says:

this was not an advice… this was the most stupid thing I have ever read. You’re completely disgusting and insane!! please KILL YOURSELF… you f**ker.

October 17, 2008 at 6:39 am
(12) Austin Cline says:

this was not an advice… this was the most stupid thing I have ever read.

You don’t seem to have noticed that I was being critical of the quoted text.

You’re completely disgusting and insane!! please KILL YOURSELF.

With a comment like that, you’re really no better than the people behind the quoted text.

November 19, 2008 at 11:31 am
(13) tweaky says:

Austin – your humour is witty and clever. Sadly, most people who have posted comments are not. Do not give up. Some of us out here do understand irony.

November 29, 2008 at 7:13 pm
(14) Father says:

I think all the people who have commented on this site are GAY. So don’t waste time trying to safe this world as it will soon be judged.

November 29, 2008 at 7:17 pm
(15) Father says:

I think most of the people who have commented on this site are GAY. So don’t waste time trying to safe this world as it will soon be judged.Remember the prophecies concerning the end time must come to pass and gay sex is one of them. But thanks for your effort.

November 29, 2008 at 7:17 pm
(16) Father says:

I think most of the people who have commented on this site are GAY. So don’t waste time trying to safe this world as it will soon be judged.Remember the prophecies concerning the end time must come to pass and gay sex is one of them. But thanks for your effort. Wrong Email there so don’t try mailing.

December 1, 2008 at 4:18 pm
(17) Mark says:

What aload of crap!!!

December 2, 2008 at 10:34 pm
(18) Keandre says:

Ahahaha, NO! This is SO stoopid, whoever made this is either stupid or has no life

December 31, 2008 at 8:32 pm
(19) Jacob Hill says:

Reading that article made me feel like I was in the early 1900s. As a young homosexual I have experienced a lot of heartache growing up, seeing all of my friends with there girlfriends!

This has angered me so much and you should be ashamed to even have these thoughts in your head!

I would like to meet you and set the records right!

September 6, 2009 at 6:24 pm
(20) stev danny ali and michelle says:

says this is hilarious ha ha ha ha ah aha

September 28, 2009 at 9:11 pm
(21) Adrian J Andrews says:

This document incites homophobia. The author clearly has no understanding of children growing up to be gay and obviously fears his own sexual orientation. Dare I say, he shows little understanding of being Human at all!?
By publishing this on the internet, anyone doing a serious search for advice on ‘coming out’ will be horrified and will feel even more alienated than they already do.
Growing up knowing your gay, even in these modern times is the most difficult thing to accept in yourself. Boya (and girls) need the reassurance that they are not extraordinary but are actually contributing to the diverse variety of ALL creatures, not just the human race. (Homosexuality is not exclusive to humans).

October 3, 2009 at 1:45 pm
(22) Markotronix says:

Are you all thick? Its obviously a joke, grow up you bunch of poofs

October 5, 2009 at 7:24 pm
(23) wheasie says:

Well – these ARE the most disgusting absurdities that I’ve ever read about homosexual boys – I assumed that the point was to be absurd in order to make a point. Anyway… I was looking for something LEGITIMATE to help me help a friend. I do think her son may be gay and I’m not sure she will handle it well IF he is. My concern is for the kid – he’s entitled to be what he is, and respected for the person that he is and not maligned for who he may end up sleeping with. So… if any of you know of some legitimate and supportive resources, I’d like to know about them.

October 5, 2009 at 7:52 pm
(24) wheasie says:

…and if the list is intended to be taken seriously, I agree that it is the work of an ultra-consative, right-wing, homophobic, narrow-minded, uniformed, insensitive IDIOT.

October 20, 2009 at 7:56 pm
(25) LiteralDan says:

Wow… I apologize, Austin, on behalf of humanity. You must be so frustrated in reading these comments from people who either missed your point in unwaveringly mocking the source of the list, or are trying to be deliberately difficult.

I’ve only ever gotten a couple such comments on my similarly toned list I posted awhile back, but they baffled me just as much as these did. I just don’t understand why 70% of the comments here fall in this category!

Fantastic job on this, though– anyone reading this who does get it (i.e., anyone with an IQ over 50), please comment here to balance out the insanity!

November 4, 2009 at 4:27 am
(26) JJ says:

Literal Dan…OK my balancing act follows.

James Dobson’s…Focus on the Family is the scary item that was highlighted. A blatant Theocrat who will use any method possible to increase political power and bank balance of their particularly cruel, amoral variety of ultra-conservatism.

March 26, 2010 at 11:53 pm
(27) Rich Pearce says:

thanks there all you captain obvious’s he is stating that it is stupid by be sarcastic (that’s a a new lesson), he is stating that this was dumb. and y’all are even dumber if ya don’t get it, how about some whine with that cheese

August 22, 2011 at 11:06 pm
(28) Meisme says:

Sarcastic things are funny at times but this was too far we are not dumb or dumber we are stating that we don’t like it when people make stereotypes or criticizing statements even if it is a joke so just shutup and accept that you just made a pointless statement

May 16, 2010 at 12:34 am
(29) Hellman XII says:

I am a (on the down low homosexual) and sadly to say…
I admit that some of whats said in the main article is true(cuz some of the description fits me and a lot of gays I know)…you can ask any smart psychiatrist out there and you’ll get similar response.

and I shall point something out to all stupid christian gays out there…being attracted to the same sex is not a sin but acting on that attraction is a sin.

I said “stupid christian gays” I did not mean offense to the religion but to the stupid people that miss interpret it.

July 9, 2010 at 4:27 pm
(30) Rickyy says:

haha it’s funny I’m gay and i am NOT ayee girl, love sports, not feminine, and play the.. swan. this iss all crap.

October 21, 2010 at 11:25 am
(31) Ridge says:

This has to be the funniest thing I’ve ever read.
Someone calling your son “queer” “fag” or “gay” is being a bully. And if a four year old is saying that, then the parents need to get their heads out of their asses and be a good parent.
Just because your son may dress, talk, or act differently, doesn’t mean that he may be gay.
If anything, it would be considered the straightest thing for your son to do, to play with other girls. I grew up with two sisters, and never had anyone to play with except for them, and my dad.
So this guy who wrote this, obviously has a sense of humour, or he’s as ignorant as a four year old.

December 3, 2010 at 3:48 pm
(32) Alex says:

I am also an atheist but I think you are full of sh*t you are so f**king ignorant and need to open your eyes to the real world. People who do these things aren’t necessarily gay and other people are gay without showing your so called symptoms do the world a favour and jump off a cliff we have enough stupid bigots in this world already.

December 3, 2010 at 3:54 pm
(33) Austin Cline says:

I am also an atheist but I think you are full of sh*t you are so f**king ignorant and need to open your eyes to the real world.

Speaking of opening eyes, you don’t seem to have noticed that I quoted text about behavior and was being critical of that text.

January 19, 2011 at 3:01 am
(34) ruth says:

I believe most gay boys have been molested n hate rejection from girls n curiously get involved with boys n it is no challenge. They take care of there fleshly desires. Just an excuse to do detestable sin.

January 20, 2011 at 7:20 pm
(35) Boysmom says:

First of all as a mother of 2 boys, a boy is not “BORN” gay. God created human beings in his IMAGE, everything else on this earth as well. So the LIE from the pit of hell that “accept it if you love him” is just a joke. This is a spirutual battle whether any gay/lesbian/transgender accepts or not. I pray they all come out of the darkness. Do not get me wrong…I do not hate anyone but hate sin, it is what it is A SIN. You will label me as a hater because you may walk in darkness. Male dogs do not mate with male dogs, deer, cats, etc. They know by natural instinct and are tempted with sexuality because humans have free will and love pleasure over anything else. Do it if it feels good! Christianity and the Word of God is hardly :narrow-minded.” John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that WHOEVER BELIEVES has everlasting life. Another verse in John says WHOMEVER LOVES the Lord will never walk in darkness but have the light of life. These are CHOICES and given to all mankind. It is a choice, people label as narrow-mindedness. This is just unbelief in their own hearts and they pass blame. So Truth is Truth and Absolute truth. This boy does need deep counseling and praying over and lifted up in prayer by his family. If this is too hard to believe why do you not go have sex with animals? Where do you draw the line? Oh that may sound gross to you…well anything out of God’s Will is WRONG! Freedom does come from walking in obedience to His Word. I will pray for this little boy or he will be subjected to a lifetime of rejection and deep demons. I know may homosexuals that have attempted suicide, something to think about. Only Satan makes us feel hopeless. Absence of man role model in a specific time (years) in boy’s life from infant to child to adolescents is the result of this lifestyle.

February 2, 2011 at 8:42 am
(36) melanie says:

Your religious rhetoric suggests you must be from the southern States. Your brainwashed mind as a child by religion has know right to interpret whether a child is born gay or not. It’s people like you that oppress a gay child that lead to them feeling helpless or worse.
Keep your religious bullshit out of these discussions. The only demon is you, that hide behind religion because you can’t think for yourself!!!

January 22, 2011 at 9:46 pm
(37) tharoahs says:

My buddies and I played Indian vs Indian in our own Gay version of loin cloths–two pieces..one over a belt in front and one over a belt in back–naked underneath..We fought pretend wars with safe rubber knives and tomahawks..winner did honors to the loser..neither played effeminate role..both were macho…sort of s & m in a way.

March 23, 2011 at 8:45 am
(38) Ben says:

youre full of horsesh*t

March 28, 2011 at 9:56 pm
(39) Clarifying Clarence says:

For those of you who are either missing the sarcasm or having trouble noticing the quotation marks (or both):

Pretend that the first sentence in each paragraph is blue and that the rest of the paragraph is red. The blue sentence is the BAD sentence. Focus on the Family (NOT the author) wrote that bad blue sentence. Now we’re going to make fun of Focus on the Family because we want to point out how dumb they are! What’s a clever way to make fun of someone? We could say, “Focus on the Family, you are so dumb!” But that’s not very clever, is it? Let’s try something a little more high brow. Let’s try sarcasm!

Instead of saying, “you are so dumb,” we will say, “wow, Focus on the Family, you are 100% correct in everything that you wrote and everything that you will ever write. I will literally hold my breath until you write more because a world without your insight is not worth living in.” See? It’s funny because we actually mean the OPPOSITE of what we’re saying!

Now, remember how we had the big bad blue sentence and then everything else was red? Everything in red is the commentator’s (NOT Focus on the Family) sarcastic commentary! Read each paragraph again and laugh at how well we made fun of those idiots over at Focus on the Family!

Congratulations, you’re now slightly smarter than you were 1 minute ago! And I’m slightly dumber for having to explain these concepts to you!

Hooray for dumbing things down! (extra credit if you’re picking up on the sarcasm here!)

April 25, 2011 at 9:27 am
(40) gayson says:

sooooooo stupid

May 8, 2011 at 5:18 am
(41) Rico says:

This is funny.lol I mean who ever write this must’ve been dropped on there head as a baby or there one of dem’ Red necks this makes me laught cause this is just lol .. Woow drugs are really bad

June 22, 2011 at 2:11 am
(42) Fuck you says:

Lol, I laughed so hard at this shit! I’m gay and I think these people should quit descriminating gays just because they know they are going to hell! But people I’m just as pissed as you are but let’s just get our satisfaction thinking about when these people meet Satan and feel the fiery statues of hell singing every cell in their body. :) happy traveling. NOT I hope your cars run off the freeway and catch on fire in the middle of an oil rig!!!!!!!

August 18, 2011 at 8:56 pm
(43) Bill says:

Very nicely done. This was informational but also had a nice antidote of humor mixed in. I hope most of the other people that read this will take a moment to reflect on your true meaning rather than jumping to a dogmatic religious stance and suggest violence as people with religion backing their narrow minded views often do because they are so fearful of the real truth.

September 3, 2011 at 4:52 am
(44) Marc says:

Austin Cline im stright and i can tell you are full of sh*t…. i have gay friends both men and women and you are so f-ing far off from the truth…. i think you might need help…. maybe you get paid to say sh*t, i know im getting paid to read your sh*t…. lol

September 3, 2011 at 11:34 am
(45) Austin Cline says:

Austin Cline im stright and i can tell you are full of sh*t

At least I can recognize satire. You, on the other hand…

September 26, 2011 at 12:28 am
(46) Merisa says:

No it doesn’t. None of these are true. Mind your own. If we are gay then none of it concerns you!

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