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Austin Cline

Mormon Tactics Against Masturbation

By August 28, 2004

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Having trouble dealing with masturbation? Trying to stop but just can't figure out how? Have no fear! There is help for those of you afflicted with this terrible addiction - and the Mormon Church knows the way. Just follow a few simple steps and you'll be free in no time.

Lambert Dolphin quotes from something attributed to Mark E. Petersen:

1. Never touch the intimate parts of your body except during normal toilet processes. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company and stay in this good company.

Better yet, wear thick gloves just to be extra sure.

2. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, you must break off their friendship. Never associate with other people having the same weakness. Don't suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will. You must get away from people of that kind. Just to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind. The problem must be taken out of your mind for that is where it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome things.

Yes, it’s tough to quit masturbating when you hang around with people who constantly talk about masturbating, compare masturbation techniques, and recount especially good masturbation sessions. With folks like that around, quitting the habit just isn’t likely.

3. When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror. Never stay in the bath more than five or six minutes -- just long enough to bathe and dry and dress and then get out of the bathroom into a room where you will have some member of your family present.

Better yet, invite a family member to stand around in the bathroom while you bathe — especially an older, wrinkly family if you can find one. That can have a very depressing effect on any masturbation desire you might have. Should such family members not be available, photographs of Margaret Thatcher and Richard Nixon have been reported to help.

4. When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily touch your vital parts, and so that it would be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes. By the time you started to remove protective clothing you would have sufficiently controlled your thinking that the temptation would leave you.

If you’re really serious about quitting the masturbation habit, you can enlist the aid of family members to simply wrap you up mummy-like each evening. While ensconced in tight bandages, you won’t even be able to pick your nose or scratch your butt, much less masturbate. In this manner you may be able to put an end to several bad habits at once!

5. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, get out of bed and go into the kitchen and fix yourself a snack, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining weight. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you get your mind on something else. You are the subject of your thoughts, so to speak.

Of course, if you think about masturbation a great deal and thus end up eating a great deal, you will gain so much weight that masturbation may become physically impossible. While this is not necessarily a recommended way to stop masturbation, it is certain preferable than not stopping at all.

It is a habit that is totally self-centered, and secretive, and in no way expresses the proper use of the procreative power given to man to fulfill eternal purposes. It therefore separates a person from God and defeats the gospel plan.

What if you masturbate publicly? What if you get together with friends from #2 and masturbate in a group? Then it’s not so secretive anymore, is it? And if you help your friends masturbate, it’s not self-centered, either.

This self-gratifying activity will cause one to lose his self-respect and feel guilty and depressed, which can in the extreme lead to further sinning. As a person feels spiritually unclean, he loses his interest in prayer, his testimony becomes weak, and missionary work and other Church callings become burdensome, offering no joy and limited success.

Just a thought, but if people weren’t continually told that masturbation is bad, then perhaps they also wouldn’t feel guilty and depressed when they do it. Maybe if they were told that masturbation is healthy and natural they wouldn’t be any more bothered by it than they are by other natural functions of the body.

Read More:

September 28, 2006 at 3:13 pm
(1) mitch says:

dude thats awesome thanks alot for the ideas its eating me alive spiritualy and i hate it the wall between god and i has to come down but i feel kind of crappy asking for forgivness when i knew what i was doing when i was doing it castration may be the only option i have at this point but never the less thank you god bless

November 18, 2006 at 12:47 am
(2) A friend says:

Masturbation is not wrong and God never says it is the Bible.Heres some facts that i found.
Yes. Masturbation can help relieve stress and:
Relieve menstrual cramps
Help for insomnia (i.e. when a person is having trouble falling asleep)
Stimulate the immune system to help build up resistance to common infections.
Release mood elevating hormones
Reduce embarrassing spontaneous erections for teen males
Reduce the number of unwanted wet dreams for young men

August 5, 2007 at 8:24 pm
(3) lmnop says:

While I do masturbate and believe in free love, masturbation is about as natural as provoking yourself to sneeze for the hell of it (although to be fair I can see that as having more of a cleansing benefit than jerking off for a quick thrill). Quite the opposite actually – you’re getting rid of vital protein.

August 11, 2007 at 1:52 am
(4) werd says:

You are an idiot. If you are going to rant about how “bad” something or someone is, how about writing a document without and errors. See what I mean? You have multiple errors that make some of your sentences very difficult to understand. You of all people have nothing to say about religion.
You have publicly humiliated yourself as if you were to masturbate in public.

I hope you learn a valuable lesson.

By the way, masturbating isn’t bad. But there sure is nothing good with it either.

Have real sex, or make better use of your time–the ultimate tool to aid in quitting masturbation.

August 11, 2007 at 7:12 am
(5) Austin Cline says:

You of all people have nothing to say about religion.


You have publicly humiliated yourself as if you were to masturbate in public.

How so?

By the way, masturbating isn’t bad. But there sure is nothing good with it either.

Well, it sounds like you disagree with the point of the article, but rather than offer any counter-arguments you simply criticized typos (which you didn’t point to, you just said they were there). I suspect that if you did have any substantive arguments, you’d have made them.

August 29, 2007 at 2:18 am
(6) Molly Mindcrime says:

I tried for years to end my “sin” of masterbation using the mormon suggestions. They’re absolute crap, of course. As soon as I finally gave myself permission to be human and explore my own body, my compulsion to masterbate went away and sex with my husband improved. How can I expect my husband to know more about my pleasure than I do? Though I am no longer “compelled” to do it, I do it when I feel the desire. When it is so simple and natural all the unhealthy compulsion just disolves. Wow. I think it is truly sad how mormon’s repressive doctrine seems to propel people into the very behavior and bad outcomes that it’s supposedly trying to save them from.

September 18, 2007 at 2:34 pm
(7) Perpetual Equilibrium says:

Here is what one modern church leader has to say about masturbation.


September 30, 2007 at 9:52 pm
(8) Gabriel says:

ti know if something is right or not simply ask: Would Jesus do it? Would Jesus Masturbate? no!!!!!!!
So stop saying it is something good because you are too weak to stop doing it. Good luck to all that try.

February 2, 2012 at 8:09 pm
(9) Tom says:

I found this difficult to fap to, but persevered!

October 1, 2007 at 6:01 am
(10) Austin Cline says:

ti know if something is right or not simply ask: Would Jesus do it?


November 1, 2007 at 9:03 pm
(11) nate says:


November 22, 2007 at 3:35 pm
(12) Light Bearer says:

Would Jesus do it??????

Why not? I would ask the same question: would Mohammed have done it? would Krishna have done it? Of course! All bodily fluids have to come out one way or the other:).

What the heck is wrong with masturbation? If u want to do it, do it(don’t overdo it!). One smart way which the Goddess/God has designed for us to relax…….

Have you wondered how good you feel after masturbation? (don’t tell me..you feel like a loser, eh?). Maybe that’s because of all this talk about losing your energy blah blah blah……

Sure you loose energy. But then…you loose energy when you do anything to the extreme…and regain it later!

BTW,great and humorous article, Cline! Let’s see more of that:)

November 25, 2007 at 5:22 am
(13) Light Bearer says:

Of course, let it be understood that if an individual abuses his/her organs and constantly thinks only about masturbation, that is like asking for trouble!

June 6, 2008 at 2:28 pm
(14) Balance says:

I can absolutely respect one’s view of the normal, common nature of masturbation. To take jabs at another perspective, however, is a display of ignorance and egocentric thinking. It is also fine to have spiritual beliefs and standards that go against your own.

August 22, 2008 at 9:36 pm
(15) Gabriel says:

When I read something about chastity or anything concerning masturbation according to Mormon’s believe, I masturbate in front of stupid reading when I told my self, no way that doesn’t make any sense to me.

September 11, 2008 at 12:46 am
(16) journey rider says:

Thanks the Mormons, for all thos ewonderful advice in order to help 1 quit musterbation, i also c some funy stupid comments other ppl made on the article, if the really did musterbate liike i do they will c th reason why they should stop, i only c them as just decieving ppl to continue with those bad acts..masturbating is not healthy, it also affects the eye and give you fussy, it also encourages impotence…i think any one addicted to this bad behaviour should consider quitting and follow all those steps given here, also know that INTERGRITY means when no one is watching you God is……..Have a great day.

September 11, 2008 at 12:56 am
(17) Journey Rider says:

Thanks the Mormons, for the wonderful advice in order to help us quit masturbation, i do c some funy stupid comments other ppl made on the article, if they really did masturbate like i do they will c the reason why they should stop, i only c them as just decieving ppl to continue with those bad acts..masturbating is not healthy, EFFECTS OF MASTURBATION: it gives u fussy vision, encourages impotence and also lets you feel weak all the time,i think any one addicted to this bad behaviour should consider quitting and follow all those steps given on here, also know that INTERGRITY means when no one is watching you God is……..Have a great day.


September 24, 2008 at 3:45 pm
(18) shekhar says:

Damn funny, i suppose it was supposed to be funny :D

October 7, 2008 at 11:51 pm
(19) chase says:

wow, based on this, i would say the person who wrote this has some SERIOUS mental issues that he/she needs to work out. Im not even kidding. There are some legitimate mental issues behind these words.

October 7, 2008 at 11:56 pm
(20) chase says:

comment number 16 i hope is a joke because all of what was said is lies. fuzzy vision. HAHA. they are two completely different parts of the body, why would u think that. find me some evidence of this. I masturbate sometimes and i have pretty good vision actually. Are you on any kind of drugs? You must be, lol.

October 8, 2008 at 12:02 am
(21) chase says:

i say jack away. just dont overdo it and don’t make it the focus of your life. The only reason ppl feel guilty about it is because they are told it is bad. Otherwise, they wouldn’t feel guilty about it. By the way, it cuts the risk of prostate cancer by about 30-40% in males. 99.9% of doctors would prbly agree its normal. Any sane person realizes this too.

October 8, 2008 at 5:09 pm
(22) Eric says:

This blog entry was funny.

I really go with the last comment you made tho, masturbation is normal, nothing to be ashamed about and healthy. To the Ladys, tickle your fancy to your hearts delight and to the guys, keep bashing that bishop.

Masturbation is good, for both sexes, it will help you in being sexually secure, and let you know your body. Sure once you have a partner there are even more enjoyable things to do together, but doing it together is also fun.

I can’t speak so much of the benefits for women, I’m male, but I sure know a lot of benefits for guys.

There are two canals in your penis, one from your bladder and one from your testes (where the sperm are made). While it is almost certain that the urinary canal is being constantly cleaned by going to the toilet, the other is not being cleaned if you don’t have a regular ejaculation. So if you don’t masturbate you actually further your chance in contracting an infection in one or both of the canals.

If you don’t constantly empty your testes, no new semen are produced. Old sperm are considerably less fertile than fresh stuff. Also if you don’t give your body any incentive to produce more sperm it will focus on other things. This means that, if you are brought up not to masturbate, and actually keep to the tenet, you’ll be less fertile than when you don’t, and we’re not talking about you lugging around childhood memories in your scrotum, we’re talking about long term damage damage caused by self-induced clippling of a bodily function through underuse.

While on the point of old age of bodily fluids, old semen tastes rank. Most guys love seeing it when their girl swallows. Guys leading a pretty much standard male lifestyle will not have good tasting sperm. Garlic, foods with very distinct flavouring, also spices, have a very big impact on the way your sperm tastes. So does smoking. If you really want to get your girl to swallow, try eating fruit for a couple of weeks as your main source of carbohydrates and vitamins, eat less strong tasting meat, like poultry and maybe cut the fish. Maybe go fruitarian for those two weeks, it won’t do you any harm, a lot of people used to fast food and inferior cooking would finally get the necessary amount of vitamins. Masturbate a lot so that the old, not nice tasting “produce” is gotten rid of, and stop smoking, or smoke as little as possible, so that when your partner smokes you, he or she is in for a pleasant surprise.

Anyway, enough random advice go have fun, with your self, with other people, just remember when you “graduate” from masturbation to intercourse, use a condom.

October 11, 2008 at 5:09 am
(23) Hello says:

Masturbation is in fact bad. For those who say otherwise, perhaps you’re also getting an equal amount of pleasure out of taking someone’s virginity before marriage? Our society, to put in black and white terms, are coming up thinking this is perfectly fine. Having multiple partners, etc. Why do you suppose there are god awful diseases that can be transmitted? Is that the beauty of finding the one you want to be with for the rest of your life? To acquire these illnesses yourself and be plagued and ridiculed by them for probably the duration of your life as well? There’s a reason for self discipline, in all things. And patience. Wait until you’re married. Masturbation is a form of pre marital sex just as having sex with someone.(although it isn’t associated with diseases typically) I am not a heavy Bible reader, although I do recall a certain segment where God referred to such things as “Wasting your seed on the ground.” Sperm is purposefully in us for that reason only. So for “pro masturbators” have you questioned the 100% authenticity in the truth of whether it’s genuinely good for you? Just because you’re used to it, and it’s extreme pleasure, doesn’t have to mean it’s soul food. Again, there are many things in the world that “feel” or “look good” but are you always going to pursue it? Good luck on everyone quitting.

October 11, 2008 at 5:20 am
(24) Hello says:

Pray too. Ask to be rid of such a meaningless sin.

October 28, 2008 at 10:05 am
(25) Vire says:

Good Article. I really pity a few of the people commenting on this though. How anyone can believe something as natural as masturbation is wrong and sinful is completely beyond me.

It’s like Adam & Eve – if the fruit tree with the snake was poisonous, God shouldn’t have put it in the bloody garden! It defies all sense of logic, something which is sadly common in religion(s).

October 28, 2008 at 5:54 pm
(26) Bhinikwa says:

With all due respects to all who are saying masturbating is good/ok.
l dont think this is the right place for that argument, the Mormons have put steps here to help those who want to stop & there you are saying dont stop ! something not right there.If you want to promote it then open your own blog.otherwise leave this one alone.

Its like going to a church & telling worshipers that its ok to be a bad person /to do evil. If want that then open your own church & invite your own people.

November 4, 2008 at 9:59 pm
(27) Angel says:

I am not a heavy Bible reader, although I do recall a certain segment where God referred to such things as “Wasting your seed on the ground.” Sperm is purposefully in us for that reason only.

What about female masturbation?

For that matter, what about that other female m? If we are forbidden to waste any chance to reproduce, then every female is required by God to have sex as often as possible from the age of… eleven? Sometimes as early as nine.

I’m not actually an athiest — or a masturbator. I’m just questioning.

November 12, 2008 at 1:47 pm
(28) spacepup says:

“We must preserve the purity of our precious bodily fluids!”
~General Jack D. Ripper

May 11, 2011 at 12:23 pm
(29) retiredwheezer says:

“We must preserve the purity of our precious bodily fluids!”

If we’ve gone this far with General Jack Ripper’s dialogue, we might as well go a little further:

“I first became aware of it (i.e, his sexual inadequacy) during the physical act of love. Yes, a profound sense of fatigue, a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily, I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence. I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women…women sense my power, and they seek the life essence. I do not avoid women, Mandrake. But I do deny them my essence.”

December 20, 2008 at 9:37 am
(30) Jow says:

I masturbate daily and sometimes 2 times or more. I have tried to stop it but it never worked out.

The biggest problem I see with regard to overcoming masturbation is the easy availability of stimulant(s). It’s just very easy to get a stimulant – a sexy girl/guy you see on the train, images in the magazines/ad boards, movie, sex scenes and at the extreme end is the porn. So getting a stimulant for masturbation is very easy and commonly available and to masturbate you really don’t need to buy anything, its available within you for free – so the supply as well as demand is free and so that makes it more difficult to stop.

I have never been successful so far at controlling it and so I have quit feeling bad about it. I just do it as a way to satisfy the natural callings of the body and once I’m done with masturbation I can usually move on and focus on other things. I have made a private peace with it because the frustration at not being able to control it creates more problems.

My advice to those who have failed to control it early is to just stop trying. Quit thinking that its bad, sinful etc and simply enjoy the moment – just make sure to be in control – limit it to one or two times a day.. allow your body to replenish sperm stock ;-)

And don’t ever listen to those religious folks – think about it.. are they really honest in their day to day dealings with life even if they don’t masturbate?

December 21, 2008 at 8:31 pm
(31) An LDS member says:

Thank u so much. If had problems since seven or eight befor I unstode it was wrong. Now I’m in high school and have lots of problems with prom but I know thisnwill help!!! Thx alot!!

December 21, 2008 at 8:57 pm
(32) A LDS member says:

Ok to al the people who live in the world (meaning doing worldly things ex:sex, drinking,smoking, drug abuse and not beingnsexualy pure) u must enjoy it. I have lived some of that life and would rather say holy and pure. Visit LDS.org for in for on the Morman chuch. Just because things aren’t said in the bible does not mean that god thinks there ok. Our bodies are sacred and we must treat them with respect and stay pure. We are comanded to be in the world but not of it. What would happen if u went back to the turn of the century and stared talking the way people do these days? U would be frowned apon greatly. We should be ashamed of our selves with tv lake of respect we treat one another and our selfs. Yes I have masturebated but later felt horable because it is not right. The bible says the natural man (any person who does one night stands and late night bars. Drinks all the day while masturbateing and looking up porn) is a enemy to god. The bible says put off the natural man and pick up the armour of god. Take place in his roayal army and u will be promised a place in his kingdom.

Masturebation is part of one of the many chalenges in life that we need to over come. Be pure in mined and in spirt and revive great blessings as u live the commandments.
U may be surprised that I am 14yrs old and this is what I (and the man that wrote this artical) stand for. Go to
For info on our church
Change ur ways and become like the savoir in glory

Thank u

January 12, 2009 at 2:50 am
(33) Srinivasan says:

thank u for your ideas

January 15, 2009 at 11:38 am
(34) ayang says:

look,i am totally fed up from this masturbating habit.I have lost a major part of my life due to this habit.If someday god came in front of me and ask “what do you want” then i request him to make me get rid of this masturbating habit.By the way,thank you for this valuable article.But

January 15, 2009 at 11:40 am
(35) ayang says:

please! save me from this problem or i will lose eveything in life.

February 17, 2009 at 3:33 pm
(36) Southernbourne Sister says:

Not to stir up the hornet’s nest after so long; I just want to speak my peace and move along.

First off, this is hilarious. I was raised in the “Bible Belt” and understand the taboo on masturbation since being beat for it repeatedly because it is supposed to be sinful. This article and all it’s comments are an example of irony.
Anyone who gets up in arms about what others say can’t be marching for the glory of God. I’ve never read anywhere that said “And Jesus told them they they are awful people.”
Point is, God don’t like ugly, but it didn’t make hateful comments about it. God passes judgement, not mankind; so give it a rest. You aren’t it’s voice, it speaks to us all differently, you all should be ashamed. If you dislike this topic of discussion, then you should do the right thing and leave it. If your God is what you say it is then doesn’t it say something about “smiting the wicked”? Do you not trust in it that it will do as it promises?
I’m not trying to be offensive, but this rubbed me the wrong way… Times like this I’m ashamed to have religion in my life, especially the church, when I see fellow members on the internet replying with hatred and malice. I’m not telling you guys this with hate in me, but sadness. We’re supposed to put on the armor and be the children of God and you think this is the heresy that must be quelled? It hurts me deeply as your sister to see this. I’ve been debating leaving the church for some time now because the deeper I look at religions, the more I see that members do NOT practice and uphold what they preach. You preach peace, be peaceful! Love? Show love to one another despite the hatred!
On another note, I’d like to say on behalf of my community that there is a hollow, empty feeling. A lonely feeling one has when they finish masturbating. For the people that I’ve spoken to about it, yes, it is healthy, but feelings that get beat into you can’t just be tossed away. For myself, I know that if I don’t do something I’m going to end up having pre-marital intercourse. I don’t think that it’s right to be reading your scriptures in a room full of people and thinking as you start pushing those thoughts away that God must hate you because it’s never sent you the smallest sign that anyone gives a whistle.
What do you do? You stay strong.
I’d rather use what was given to me than become a whore quite frankly. The way I’ve come to terms with it is that my body is a temple and the only one allowed to touch it before I get married is me and my God.
Everyone is different, God made us that way.
I love this article, I think it’s great and I intend to share it with my friends and family. I laughed so hard! I know God has a sense of humor so ^_^ keep the good humor coming!

February 26, 2009 at 2:34 pm
(37) joanna says:

good article, it was very funny and informative at the same time.
keep it up.

April 6, 2009 at 5:58 pm
(38) Yéssica says:

i have this problem too i’ve had had it since i was too litlle to even realize
u guys have not helped me at all this article sucks and i don’t think that a real member wrote this because i have tried all those things and they did not help!!! it is not a good thing i know it it is a chastity issue my bishop told me it is not right though everyone does it and it shouldn’t be normal i know from experience

May 12, 2011 at 7:40 pm
(39) Lisa says:

I think that is the point of the article. Masturbation (and sex) are natural, bodily functions and to deny yourself of them is completely unnatural. It’s not happening and it shouldn’t happen.

May 25, 2009 at 4:33 pm
(40) guruboys says:

masterbation is fun,it helps the people who has no friends and that little excuse of a smug called a penis,express and feel good about themselves.Not to be bragging or anything but my ganitals are 9 inches long exceding most males my age and am just 15

So i say masterbate more often and enjoy life………….GURUBOYS

June 21, 2009 at 6:34 pm
(41) lonnie says:

you get that natural urge that comes to you as a young teen from changing hormones and start masterubating and this becomes habit fulfilling that natural urge. this urge remains in us before relationships, during relationships, after relationships SEX with others do not stop that natural desire when it comes and you will continue to please that urge especially if you been doing it for so many years its just a part of your life! IT CAME TO US AS YOUTHS,it’s not your fought! some people find strength to fight that urge by doing various things keeping busy threw the day but at night if you have a partner you can transform that urge into sex with partner, but single people it’s harder so fighting that urge laying in the bed can be hard especially everywhere you turn it’s sex appeal guy’s flexing big strong body’s, women old and young showing off their backside everywhere you go, stores,movies,walking down the street and this increase our urges from society alone. The person that was raised in the church young may have focused on other things but in due time that same urge will get the best of you to the point you lose those other focuses!! example those catholic Priests started giving into those inner urges started off masturbating probably and begun reaching out to those children that there is another issue! it’s a few in this world that is not practicing it but i’m sure because of a mental issue,or physical handicap that prevent them to non-masturbation. Their is 98% of us that are fulfilling that natural urge from within and going to continue to do it. This is just apart of life! Some people look at it as a sin but who we are we to JUDGE we all sin, you may not steal, but you may lie so a sin is a sin. This urge is natural we didn’t ask for it so why do we have to pay for something that was given to us being a human being.

July 4, 2009 at 6:53 am
(42) Hope Kasakula says:

Opinion number 28, you are a wise person who accepy who you are, I like your point of view

July 30, 2009 at 8:06 pm
(43) MakiTn says:

#22 “perhaps you’re also getting an equal amount of pleasure out of taking someone’s virginity before marriage?”

Why, of course! The tighter, the better! Show ‘em the road to Orgasmland.

October 14, 2009 at 11:12 pm
(44) Aamber MacNeal says:

OK im an atheist and if you wanna have it your way then you can but to me and alot of other people i know masturbation is a way to relieve stress.So you cant stop people from doing what makes them feel good about there selves.

November 9, 2009 at 2:58 am
(45) A Son of God says:

To those that don’t seek purity, I understand. For those of us who do, we do so because our experience compels us to. We believe what we do because our experience compels us to. It doesn’t make us better than you, or more righteous, or anything of the sort.

If I had not experienced what I did, I would not believe in Christ; I would not care the slightest bit for sobriety, purity, humility, or selfless love. I would not care to even the slightest degree to be free from the socially acceptable forms of lust. But I have experienced something that compels this all. What is good by mankind, by my family, and even by my own self is ordered to be cast aside and something impossible is ordered to replace it.

I truly don’t understand why some of us have this experience and why some of us don’t. It makes no sense to me whatsoever. I was a drunkard and I was full to the brim with lust; and I lived by society, family, and personal interest. I’m not a righteous man. I’m not a good man. I did not earn this. I believed so deeply that my internal being was a private entity, unobserved by anything but itself. November 17th, 2007 I saw something I never had before. In a true examination of my being, I fell into a despair that is not able to be worded. I heard a voice call my name and my eyes opened to a room lit up in a majestic light. Every body of flesh was glowing with white auras and the entire room felt alive in itself. The air was thick with what I can only describe to be the presence of God Itself. My entire being trembled. I forgot that I existed and all the universe felt as one living, breathing, conscious organism.

From that night and forward, there has been an unending awareness of God in the universe. New ideals and motivations began to enter into my being; as each ideal is met, a new one aiming closer and closer to the perfection spoken of by Christ replaces it. As life’s troubles come, no degree of pain or difficulty is deeply disturbing for it cannot erase that Christ is King Absolute and His victory is a perfect victory.

December 3, 2009 at 4:15 am
(46) Barney says:

F*** all the people that say masturbation is good. Masturbation is partial loss of virginity, it prevents concentration and disallows students to perform well at school.

December 23, 2009 at 3:08 pm
(47) oldman Moses says:

I am 72 years old and I still masturbate. Is there any serious reader out there who can let me know if this life-long habit is harmful to my health? No silly comments please. I am serious.

January 27, 2010 at 12:49 am
(48) Investigator says:

(34) Southernbourne Sister says: . . . I’m not trying to be offensive, but this rubbed me the wrong way…”

Hee hee… Much more fun to be ‘rubbed the right way” :)

January 27, 2010 at 12:59 am
(49) Investigator says:

(34) Southernbourne Sister says: ” . . . I’m not trying to be offensive, but this rubbed me the wrong way . . . ”

Hee-hee… Much more fun to be ‘rubbed the right way!” :)

March 19, 2010 at 5:21 am
(50) Edicillec says:

How about instead of ranting about how masturbation is so great, you go screw yourself all better.

March 19, 2010 at 5:35 am
(51) Edicillec says:

All of you who keep ranting about how great mastubation is, why don’t you run off to the bathroom and screw yourself better so we don’t have to listen to your BS.

March 21, 2010 at 2:01 am
(52) Sunny says:

Oh God what is this argument about? What is a penis for ?? It is a gift to us to enjoy one of the pleasures of life. One must masturbate and learn to derive the maximum. It is effortless, and at no cost. Go for it man, enjoy your manhood. Its God’s gift to you. For those against it just close this site and go to bed.

April 21, 2010 at 10:11 pm
(53) w.w.ashe says:

Did all of you really miss the point? THEY WERE MAKING FUN OF IT THE WHOLE TIME!!! Masturbation is completely natural. Actually, if a male ejaculates an average of 3 times a week, it rids his body of many of the toxins that cause prostate cancer. It also reduces stress, helps with insomnia, elevates your mood, and has many other beneficial qualities. It wasn’t until organized religions (i.e.- Christianity) said it was wrong that people started to think it was wrong.

May 4, 2010 at 11:08 pm
(54) Edicillec says:

It has been proven by scientists that masturbation can result in an enlarged prostate, which limits the flow of urine, thus resulting in you taking frequent breaks to hit the John.

June 17, 2010 at 12:27 pm
(55) farighdimagh says:

good article and discussion. masterbation may be harmless but it makes u feel dirty after u r done. God does not like dirty people. it makes me feel guilty as i m married.
How to quit it?? the article doesn’t help married men like me.

August 21, 2010 at 8:47 pm
(56) mount_etna says:

Would Jesus masturbate? Why the heck not?

I am an active Mormon and I personally believe that kept in check (ie not waking off all the time) there is nothing wrong with it at all, i mean it science its very simple

your body and all its genes are geared up to reproduce whether you like it or not you are good to go just about all the time
I have found that when i have not masturbated for a while, if i am not careful i feel so tense and stressed out, alot of sexual tension and being around women is so so so stressful i feel like i am going to lose it and hump anything that moves, lol

as soon as i jack off, i feel peace and calm again, all the sexual energy causing me to be stressed goes

i feel more prone to break more serious laws of chastity when i don`t do it

i respect many things and people in the church, but they shouldn`t push this masturbation issue too far

too be honest if god said to me stop masturbating i would probably be like `no` and if he kept going on and on, i would not want to know the guy, because in the past i made the mistake of trying to stop it and it was hell, absolute hell, and now i have peace and i do not feel bad one bit

so what if Jesus did masturbate, big deal

also how do you know your leaders dont wack off, ok they have wives, but come on think about the consequences and shame they would feel if they lost their callings due to this, they probably wouldnt even tell their wives, unless she was very cool

i dont have any mormon friends i could explain this to

check this article out:


January 26, 2011 at 7:08 pm
(57) Jarek says:

even marriage guy masturbate…this is part of life.

September 15, 2010 at 2:09 am
(58) OneWiseVirgin says:

Okay, I don’t know why everyone has to attack mormons all the time.
This article was just a bit of healthy advise from a general authority of the church. He didn’t mean to upset anyone – he was just offering strategies for overcoming an addicting problem.
Mormons are the happiest people alive. They are free from the consequences of sin such as addictions, pregnancies outside of marriage, and STDs. I know that when I personally follow the commandments set forth by the Lord and his latter day prophets, I am blessed with safety and peace.
Someone commented earlier that God gave us genitals for our own pleasure. Umm, did you fail health class in high school? Because they don’t call those “reproductive organs” for nothing. And the Lord wants us to keep our minds out of the sewer and on more important things, like finding a worthy spouse and raising children.
Oh, and just because you’re too weak to change and can make a bunch of lame excuses doesn’t mean you’re right.

September 15, 2010 at 8:04 am
(59) Austin Cline says:

Okay, I don’t know why everyone has to attack mormons all the time.

All the time? One article is “all the time”?

This article was just a bit of healthy advise from a general authority of the church.

What is “healthy” about it?

Mormons are the happiest people alive.

Really? Prove it.

They are free from the consequences of sin such as addictions, pregnancies outside of marriage, and STDs.

So, no Mormons on the planet have any addiction, pregnancy outside of marriage, or STDs?

Someone commented earlier that God gave us genitals for our own pleasure. Umm, did you fail health class in high school?

So, they don’t give you pleasure? You have my condolences, then.

September 28, 2010 at 7:57 pm
(60) edmond says:

i just wonna support what the brethren have taught us about this bloody trick of satan…iam a victim i can say it of that bad masturbating thing…but following what had been spoken from them[the mormons]i decided to quit…i wish to shake hands with that brother and tell him”God speed” in all things…good day everyone!!!!

January 31, 2011 at 7:00 pm
(61) some guy says:

thanks to this article i have gone almost two months without it and its starting to get easier :) dont listen to the pro guys, if you want to quit just do it. you go through “withdraws” but after that its really not that bad and your body gets used to it

April 30, 2011 at 1:10 pm
(62) Floris says:

The churches forbid masturbation, so that they can be sure that their members are always guilty of some crime. Guilty people are much easier to control. Innocent people are a nightmare to any ruler.

May 11, 2011 at 6:14 am
(63) Beatnik Bob says:

“Puritanism: the haunting fear that someone, somewhere is having a good time.” – H.L. Mencken

May 11, 2011 at 11:30 pm
(64) John Thomson says:

I’ve appreciated your wit before but this was comic genius.

March 14, 2012 at 2:09 am
(65) Holla says:


My name is Haley and I am a devout mormon

I think that masturbation is completely fine

Why would our loving Heavenly Father give us these natural sexual tendencies if he didn’t want us to use them?

I only masturbate when the sexual feelings are so built up in my body that I want to (56) “hump anything that moves.”

I am not sexually interacting with another person before I am married

I am not engaging in pornagraphic material

I am not breaking any of the sexual purity guidelines found in the strength of youth pamphlet

What is wrong about wanting to control and release the desires so that I don’t do something sexually bad?

I personally think that some of the views in the comments are very closed minded

God gave us bodies and sexual feelings for a reason

We are supposed to explore and grow as humans on this earth, and knowing our own bodies inside and out will greatly help us do that.

Does that make me a “bad mormon?”

I don’t think so, and I also don’t think that God is going to hate me because I am trying to control my desires as a normal human being by masturbating them away instead of commiting a sexual sin.

That is my opinion

Deal with it!

March 27, 2012 at 7:34 pm
(66) mike says:

Ahaha Thanks for this, confirmed my thinking about it

June 2, 2012 at 11:55 pm
(67) Jo says:

You said you were drunk when that happened #45? I think that explains your experience.

June 7, 2012 at 3:22 am
(68) missionary says:

I have a message for those who dont know why masterbation is wrong, and also one for those mormons who believe there is nothing wrong with it while they stay loyal.
one reason for it not being right is that it causes us to gradually come closer to other, more dangerous acts. just as drug addiction can lead to more serious drugs, like how pot is called the gateway drug, masterbation can lead to looking at pornography, sex before marriage, and other sexual issues. also, do you truly believe that the thoughts that go through your head while you are doing it are pure? doing this leads to more and more immoral thoughts.
Now, for those mormons that i mentioned earlier and for those who say it is not mentioned in the bible, i want to remind you of who has said this is bad. One that has discussed this topic is Boyde K. Packer, a general authority and a prophet of the church of jesus christ of ladder day saints (and yes, the apostles are also prophets, look it up). With that being said, in the bible there is a scripture, Amose 3:7, which states- surely the lord god will do nothing, but he revealeth his secret unto his servants the prophets.- that means that god relays his messages through the prophets, and the words of packer are from god. furthermore, in the mormon church, we sustain all our leaders.
that being said, i will not pretend that i am perfect, or say that this is easy,or say that no one does this, because that is not true, but that does not make it ok. and just because it is hard does not mean we should quit, were are here to fail and to GROW.

June 15, 2012 at 4:37 pm
(69) JTL says:

Ever heard that old saying: 90% of all men masturbate? The other 10% lie.

June 15, 2012 at 7:38 pm
(70) dave williams says:

Perhaps one should visit mental asylums, deaf centers and Braille schools.
It would be very rare to find one of Mormon faith within these centers and so afflicted.
It has long been known that masturbation is the main cause of deafness, blindness and insanity.
Please adhere to God’s teaching and listen to your Mormon brothers and sisters.
Mormons lead the healthiest lifestyle of anyone.
Obey God our Saviour and do not let the filthy act of self-pollution ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

June 15, 2012 at 8:49 pm
(71) OZAtheist says:

Good to see that “missionary” managed to find his shift key at the end of his spiel. I was beginning to wonder after he even wrote : “church of jesus christ of ladder day saints”!

I enjoyed the article very much thank you Austin. I must have had a sheltered upbringing because I didn’t get into any group discussions about masturbation, where different techniques were compared and so on.

On a more serious note I have read that prostrate cancer is more prevalent in men who have not ejaculated as much as they should. I did not see any guidelines suggesting an optimum frequency, but obviously having a frequency of zero when without a sexual partner would not be enough. So its either masturbation or increasing the risk of prostrate cancer – an easy choice to make.

It’s interesting the way that God puts these flaws in our bodies that we must commit sinful acts to counter. I have read there is strong evidence that breast cancer is more prevalent in women that haven’t had children also. Something for celibate nuns to ponder.

June 16, 2012 at 9:00 am
(72) Grandpa In The East says:

To missionary: You use too many words in an attempt to say something worth reflection. But, you say nothing of value. For instance, milk would be called a gateway to hard drugs if you had to purchase your milk from a drug dealer, now wouldn’t it? And you speak of impure thoughts. REMEMBER, thinking is out-of-bounds for the religious. And, I reconfirm you are an example of a peddler of no thought thinking. Stick your head back where the sun doesn’t shine and quit trying to soil humanity.


August 15, 2012 at 8:23 pm
(73) Pat says:

I think group masterbation in houses of worship would go much farther in healing the world’s wounds than current or past religious practice. Offer up your love for Jesus, or Mo, or go straight to the Big Guy.

August 15, 2012 at 8:47 pm
(74) james says:

Masturbation is great! What could possibly be wrong with it?

August 15, 2012 at 9:03 pm
(75) James M. Martin says:

Reminds me of an animal husbandry student in my dorm at TCU (class of ’65). He saw me examining my skin in the collective showers one morning and asked if I had pimples. I said, a few. He said, it I quit beating my meat they would go away and I wouldn’t get anymore. I replied, no thanks, I’m working toward getting hair on my palms.

September 27, 2012 at 4:23 am
(76) Anan says:

hmm..never thought that there can be a so serious discussion about something which comes so naturally. I think we should know our body well. Answer your body and soul promptly and everything will be all right. I don’t think my god will have a problem if I am exploring things that he has gifted me. After all, it’s my gift.

February 4, 2013 at 7:20 pm
(77) Adam says:

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July 22, 2013 at 9:10 pm
(78) Brenda says:

I find no backing in the scriptures for the churches stand on this topic albeit they have ponderable points. Masturbation is not sin and I am saddened by the number of people who have been shamed by church leadership and still carry that feeling of unworthiness,many who are well into old age end the issue was in their youth. God himself created us as sexual beings and in His image.Clearly, sexual expression between a man and women was intended for marriage only but in order to tag masturbation as sin I think some key questions need to be answered. It’s not fornification unless the person is lusting after another in the process which would include the use of pornography of course. We are admonished to marry so our God given sexuality does not pose a stumbeling block but unfortunately puberty falls long before our culture would consider marriage appropriate. I think that it is possible for one to masturbate without sin. I have no idea about the possibility of addiction. I consider this more of a male concern then a female but I could wrong on this count. We are so quick to cling to the rules and so slow to turn to the Spirit. The LDS rules and regulation manual will never get to the heart of a person and what their intent was. The intent of the heart is what God is concerned with. How sad that we are so quick to cling to our rules when we have been intrustted with a higher order which is the Spirit. Of course their is a place for rules. Rules are simple,no brainwork involved but to listen to the Spirit is hard work and involves getting the log out of own eye first. This is a hard message but we need to hear it. It’s time we stopped discouraging people to the point of giving up. That was not what Jesus was about and if you think different I would suggest you bone up on the New Testament.

November 15, 2013 at 5:22 pm
(79) alvix says:

I say musterbstion is completely bad……. its difficult to stop but you have to follow the ideas written by the above guys on how to stop musterbating….MUSTERBATION IS BAD!

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