Perhaps the most hypocritical response to atheists' denunciations of anti-atheist bigotry is the excuse that "I don't really hate atheists." Typically heard from a person who just finished complaining that atheists have no reason to be moral, that atheists are responsible for prayer being taken out of school, and that atheists are responsible for persecuting Christians, this statement appears intended to convince people that all of these scurrilous attacks were made in the name of love.
No one should buy it — when a person attacks atheists in such a manner, they can't claim not to be motivated by hate and fear. In today's social and political climate, however, it's difficult for people to admit that they hate and/or fear various minorities like bigots used to be able to do. Consider, for example, the reactions to NBA star Tim Hardaway's comments on gays: "I hate gay people." People were horrified and outraged, but this is nothing the least bit unusual for a bigot. Hatred and fear of a minority is precisely what makes bigotry the problem it is, but bigots rarely admit their feelings publicly, and others seem to have forgotten how bigotry is defined.
Part of the problem may be the vague and slippery nature of "hate" itself. Sometimes people seem to act as though "hate" is an accurate description only if a person would be willing to kill or otherwise harm all those whom they hate, but a person's feelings don't have to be nearly this extreme in order to qualify. A person hates any time they feel intense dislike, aversion, or hostility towards a person or thing. When it comes to many of the attacks made against atheists, it's difficult to understand how "hostility" and "aversion" (at the very least) don't apply.
Furthermore, even if those expressing anti-atheist bigotry don't want to kill atheists, it seems clear that they would prefer it if atheism were eliminated. Remember, these bigots are claiming that atheism is incompatible with morality and that atheists have no reason to be kind to others — how can a person sincerely believe such things but also think that it's OK for atheism to remain? If atheism really were as bad as its critics say, or even if it were just half as bad, the only consistent position would be to wish that atheism could disappear and that atheists could be converted.
To better understand why expressions of anti-atheist bigotry are sound reasons to think that the bigots in question hate atheists, stop to consider how it would be perceived if the same accusations were being made against other minorities. If someone said that Jews could not be moral, would it be reasonable to imagine that they don't hate Jews? If someone said that blacks are responsible for crime and immorality in America, would it make any sense to believe them if they said that they don't really hate black people?
Bigotry is typically a product of fear, suspicion, and ignorance. These are also common ingredients for hatred as well, and that's not a coincidence. Hatred and bigotry go hand-in-hand because they feed off of each other: hatred fuels the passion of bigotry while bigotry provides ready rationalizations to justify hatred. Regardless of what a bigot tells others or tries to tell themselves, their bigotry is almost invariably accompanied by hatred because that's what being a bigot is all about.
If a person truly doesn't want to be perceived as hating the group they are slandering, then the solution is to stop, take a step back, and reconsider their bigotry. Protesting that they "don't really hate" those they are bigoted against won't likely be believed. Even if they've managed to convince themselves, they won't easily convince others — nor should they. The problem is theirs and thus the solution lies with them as well.
