Question: My family thinks that I'll be a bad influence on family members — what do I do?
One problem faced by many atheists whose families object to atheism is the idea that you may be a bad influence on others in the family, particularly younger siblings, nieces, nephews, etc. Your family thinks that you are on a bad path and they don't want you to cause others to follow you. It's important to understand that, from their perspective, they are being quite reasonable in trying to protect younger members of the family.
Nevertheless, they are mistaken — so what should you do? For one thing, you should accept that this situation will continue for the foreseeable future. You won't be able to change anything overnight; on the contrary, any changes you are able to effect will probably take some time and work. You also need to accept that these adults do have the responsibility and authority for overseeing the upbringing of the younger members of your family. You may not agree with how they are doing it, but that doesn't give you license to attack or otherwise undermine them.
What you ultimately want to accomplish is to demonstrate that they are wrong — preferably, so that the adults realize this as well as the younger people. In the meantime, you will need to develop as much of a relationship with your younger family members as possible. This can involve sending them cards, presents, making phone calls — whatever you can get away with that doesn't make it seem like you are deliberately trying to undermine their parents' authority.
Your younger relatives are probably receiving the message that you are somehow a bad person for being an atheist and that you are probably going to hell. Anything you do that reinforces that message will be counter-productive — this doesn't mean being meek, but it does mean showing at least some basic respect for the rules your family creates.
Your ultimate goal is, after all, to demonstrate that being an atheist doesn't make a person bad or immoral. You need to show all of your family that you are still a good person and that you have not abandoned all morals, values, and reason now that you no longer believe in any gods. If you can do that, then they may stop believing that you will be a bad influence on other family members.
This doesn't require always being subservient; indeed, there may be quite a few heated confrontations and arguments along the way. Sometimes, you will need to be firm and assertive about who you are, what you believe, and why you believe that way. Your family won't always be understanding, and sometimes your relationships may get worse before they get better; but so long as you refrain from being personal and insulting, and remember to show love and respect even as you are being assertive, it will be possible for things to get better.
