Question:
My child wants to start regularly attending religious services — what should I do?
Answer:
You may not be raising your child to follow any particular religion and you may in fact be encouraging your child to learn about many different religious beliefs on an equal basis, but that doesn't mean that she will never become interested in actively participating in one particular religious faith. You may at some time be faced with a request to regularly attend a church, a synagogue, a mosque, or some other site for religious services.
Chances are, you should probably let your child go, although a final judgment on that will necessarily depend upon the nature of the religious services in question. You don't let your child go just anywhere she wants to, do you? First you need to make sure that you are comfortable with the people she is going with and what sorts of services she will actually experience. You might, for example, not want her to attend services at a church where members regularly handle poisonous snakes.
Assuming that you aren't uncomfortable with what your child will be experiencing with the people she will be with, and assuming that she is old enough to be able to make this decision, then it would be unwise to stop her. She will only resent it, and she may even lose respect for your beliefs because you are so unwilling to allow her to develop her own beliefs.
That does not mean, however, that you should be entirely passive with regards to her exploration of this religious faith. First, you should ask her why she wants to go — she may not even be all that interested in the doctrines and may only be going because she wants to spend that time with friends. You should pay extra attention in such a situation because there are a number of churches out there who have people befriend others for the express purpose of getting new converts.
If she honestly feels drawn the the doctrines, principles, and/or experiences of this religious tradition, then you should do your best to respect her decision to become more involved — but you should remain involved as well. It might be wise to occasionally attend the services with her, thus keeping informed about what the services are like and what they teach people.
It would also be a very good idea to ask her what sorts of things she is learning, just as you might ask about what she learns at school. You will need to work to ensure that her involvement with this religion does not cause her perspective on religion to become one-sided. See to it that she continues to learn about other religious traditions which believe differently, but just as fervently and sincerely, thus making sure that she doesn't lose sight of the fact that so many people consider their religion the One True Faith.
You should also see to it that she continues to exercise skepticism and critical thinking generally and when it comes to supernatural or paranormal claims in particular. You don't want those "muscles" to weaken or atrophy through neglect. Critical thinking is a habit which requires some attention and effort to maintain.
Granted, you may not agree with the beliefs your child is acquiring, but the purpose of raising a child to be skeptical, critical, and freethinking is not to arrive at some predetermined conclusion. She's not a freethinker if she only agrees with you on everything — she's a freethinker only if she arrives at her opinions based upon her own reasoning and her own intellect, whether those opinions are shared by you or not. If you love her, you'll respect her for that.
