There are a lot of questions people have regarding the relationship between atheism and ceremonies. They are often difficult questions to answer because of the various functions which ceremonies have. Some ceremonies are important rituals, integral to religious tradition and doctrine. Others, however, are mere social customs which people observe out of courtesy and without any intention or purpose beyond that.
Many atheists wonder what they should do during religious ceremonies: should they refuse to go? Should they refuse to participate? Would it be hypocritical or contradictory for atheists to have anything at all to do with religious functions like christenings or baptisms? Many believers wonder if it would be insulting to offer any atheists invitations to participate in religious ceremonies. Or would it be more insulting to ignore them completely by not inviting them?
General Considerations and Questions
Most atheists have quite a few religious friends and relatives. Many of them may even be devoutly religious, following their traditions and practices with regularity and sincerity. If they consider you close and important in their lives, it is very likely that at some point they will invite you to participate in some religious ceremony or ritual. What should you do?
I've been invited to attend a baptism
Questions about christening and baptism ceremonies are pretty common, perhaps because the ceremonies themselves are so common. There are two different situations where an atheist might be faced with attending them: either they are invited to attend the baptism of an infant, or they are invited to attend the baptism of an adult.
Our families want our child to be baptized
Although it shouldn't be too much of an imposition to accept an invitation to someone else's baptism or christening, matters are very different when you are expected to actively participate in such a ceremony by having your own child baptized. Whether the pressure comes from your own family, your in-laws, or even your spouse, you are being put in a very difficult position where no easy choice is obvious. But you have to choose something, so what do you do?
My spouse wants to baptize our new child
If your spouse believes that a baptism is necessary, then you face an entirely different set of problems and choices than if the pressure only comes from your families. The two of you probably should have discussed this before you had children and before you were even married. If you did and this represents an attempt by your spouse to alter the earlier agreement, your feelings of discomfort will be understandably increased.
I've been invited to a religious wedding
If this is simply a question of an invitation to attend a wedding ceremony which happens to be religious, there isn't much reason why you shouldn't go. The mere fact that the ceremony is religious shouldn't dissuade you unless the ceremonies are so long that you might fall asleep, are such that you can't avoid some level of participation which bothers you, or contain messages that you find particularly offensive.
I've been invited to a religious funeral
Funerals are a difficult time for all involved. The loss of a loved one takes a terrible toll on those left behind, and often the funeral service plays an important role in people being able to say goodbye and move on with their lives. Very often, religious ceremonies are incorporated into funerals — ceremonies which might be a problem for atheists. Should atheists therefore refuse to attend?
