Christianity & Sex

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Questions about sexuality are fundamental to the health and welfare of Christian communities - the problem is, few Christians seem to realize this. Sexuality has become the proverbial elephant sitting in the room: no one can help but see it, but no one wants to acknowledge it, either. This, however, is part of what leads to scandals, abuse and worse. How should Christians deal with this?

When an organization or community does not allow people to talk about or even admit to having sexual urges, then it is no longer possible for members to express their sexuality in healthy ways. The traditional Christian message of "Don't do it, and if you are doing it, pretend that you aren't" has never served to protect people from abuse and exploitation - on the contrary, it has only served to encourage it and keep it underground.

Because of this, Christian communities need a sort of therapy to deal with the conflicts about sexuality which afflict their members, and that is the goal which Karen A. McClintock has in mind with her recent book. It is aimed at pastors and other community leaders to help them address the questions which typically remain ignored.

She is not, as she explains, looking to find fault with anyone; instead, she is exploring the fault lines in Christian communities. Sexuality constitutes a dangerous series of fault lines between leaders and members, adults and children, men and women, and more. Such tension can never be entirely eliminated, but knowing where they are can allow people to navigate them safely and confidently.

According to McClintock, the key to dealing with sexual matters is in addressing the problem of shame, because shame is used as a means of social control by those hoping to maintain the status quo. Sexual shame is particularly problematic because sexuality is an important component of a person's identity. If we are caused to feel ashamed of such a vital aspect of how we define ourselves, then our self-esteem and sense of self-worth can be seriously undermined. McClintock, however, wants people to be able to feel confident about who they are and definitely seeks to challenge the status quo:

My conviction is that spirituality and sexuality must be integrated. This integration provides the starting place for change in the entire system of congregational life and biblical and theological teaching.

Specifically, she seeks to question Christian teachings regarding sexuality and the social roles of men, women and children:

The church has participated in perpetuating sexual abuse by theologically articulating patriarchy. We have told people that God is the ruler over man and that man is to rule over the woman and children. We have illuminated Bible verses where women and children are counted last or not at all and considered property to be used and disposed of as the man sees fit. Our participation, theologically, in family violence contributes to the shame of victims and perpetrators alike.

Now, the concept of "patriarchy" has become something of a boogeyman in cultural studies, a catch-all target which is easy to identify as the cause of all our ills. Nevertheless, McClintock is able to effectively argue that patriarchal attitudes can have palpable consequences, some of which she has experienced herself.

For example, the tradition of asceticism among men was successful in desexualizing men only insofar as it was also successful in over-sexualizing women at the same time. Once men grew to feel themselves "above" the messy business of sexual feelings, then women came to shoulder it all - including all of the guilt, even for the sexual feelings which men inadvertently experienced. This caused problems for Christian congregations in the 1970s and 1980s when women began to assume leadership positions, especially as ministers and pastors:

Women becoming Christlike leaders in the 1970s and 80s challenged the church's repression of sexuality. The old options for women of being either virgins or whores are at odds with clergywomen as leaders and preachers. Into which category does the new preacher fall?

McClintock herself experienced the consequences of this when she was asked to wear heavy robes rather than simply a modest skirt, even when the men were permitted to wear standard attire and even when they were permitted to take off their suit jackets and roll up their sleeves. Why? Because she was forced to bear the shame of whatever sexual attraction was experienced by men in the congregation. She was forced to change and become as sexually neutral as possible because others couldn't handle their feelings - and they had no way of expressing that aside from treating her in what became a more repressive manner.

It is true that this book is designed for leaders of Christian communities, but McClintock's exploration of sexuality within a Christian context should also be appealing to nonbelievers who already have an interest in the topic. The only real drawback in McClintock's book is her approach to the question of pornography. She seems to buy into the myth that all pornography is necessarily degrading to women and men, never considering (at least in the text) the possible role it might play in helping people overcome shame about their bodies and their desires.