Atheists are human too, and so of course atheists are just as likely as anyone else to participate in many of the common social experiences which mark a society. One of them is, of course, weddings — both their own and the weddings of friends and relatives. Unfortunately, wedding ceremonies are commonly religious in nature — what is an irreligious atheist to do?
It isn't always easy to cope with the widespread religiosity one can encounter in society, especially when it comes to significant events which are supposed to be happy and/or meaningful. Indeed, when religiosity pervades them as much as it does in weddings, it might even be tempting to consider abandoning them entirely.
It is, however, important to understand that just because religion plays such an important role for other people, that doesn't mean it must play a similar role for all people. This means that there is nothing odd about irreligious atheists getting married and that there is nothing wrong with standing up to pressure from family members to have a religious wedding ceremony. There are non-religious options out there if you want to look for them.
Why would atheists even get married?
There is a common perception that marriage is a fundamentally religious institution — that it is based upon religious values and exists to serve religious ends. Thus, if a person is not religious, then it might seem natural for that person to avoid entering into marriage - and that would include many atheists as well.
My spouse-to-be wants a religious wedding, but I don't.
If two people have very different ideas about the way a wedding should be planned, there will likely be a lot of arguments. Usually these disagreements involve the number of guests, the colors, etc. — but when it involves something so fundamental as religion and religious rituals, it can be very difficult to reach an amicable solution.
Our families want a religious wedding, but we don't.
This may be the first situation where a person's atheism comes into serious conflict with the religious assumptions and beliefs of his or her in-laws. You may encounter numerous circumstances in which such conflicts can occur over the course of a marriage, but in many respects this can be one of the most serious. For a lot of people, a religious wedding is necessary to launch a successful marriage — thus, if a religious wedding is rejected, then the marriage itself will be regarded as unstable.
Are there non-religious wedding options for atheists?
Yes! There are quite a few options available for people who are uninterested or unwilling to have any of the traditional religious wedding ceremonies. Some are both nonreligious and without any real ceremony. Some include ceremony and ritual, but without religious elements. Finally, there are options which are religious in name, but not really in act.
I've been asked to participate in a religious wedding.
If this is simply a question of invitation to attend a wedding ceremony which will happen to be religious, there isn't much reason why you shouldn't go. The mere fact that the ceremony is religious shouldn't dissuade you unless the ceremonies are so long that you might fall asleep or are such that you can't avoid some level of participation which bothers you. Some religious rituals really are extreme and you may not want to be around them.
