Oppressive Male Gods Encourage Domestic Abuse
Christians are starting to recognize this, finally. Traditionally, it seems, Christianity has often done more to support and abet violence against women. Because of that, Christian leaders need to be more proactive in the effort to improve matters. This is difficult because traditional Christian images not just of God, but also of the proper social roles of women can do more to harm than to help.
The Archbishop of Canterbury is backing a new report that explores the various ways in which the Anglican Church has failed to support or protect victims of spousal abuse — and links these problems to the church's "deficient" theology:
These harmful beliefs include a conception of God derived from the Bible and the Christian tradition portraying divine power in "unhealthy and oppressive" ways, the report said. There are particular problems in the attribution of violent actions and attitudes to God, chiefly but not solely in the Old Testament, which require "careful" interpretation, it said.
A view of our relationship with God in terms of domination and submission, along with uncritical use of masculine imagery to characterise God, can validate "overbearing and ultimately violent patterns of behaviour" in intimate relationships, it said.
Source: This Is London
It’s common for Christians to compare the relationship between humanity and God to that between husband and wife. God is the “man” of the house to whom humanity owes obedience, respect, and honor. Usually this relationship is portrayed as one of love, but in far too many ways, God is more like an abusive spouse who only knows how to love through intimidation and violence. A review of classic signs and symptoms of spousal abuse reveals how abusive the “relationship” people have with God is.
So how has Christianity served to abet the abuse of women? An important factor can be found in how churches have traditionally regarded the institution of marriage itself. The ideal of marriage as something which should continue no matter what happens has worked to the detriment of women. Wives are told by their religious leaders that they must endure whatever their husband does. Their vows were, after all, “for better or for worse.”
Harmful beliefs can also affect the response of churches when domestic abuse comes to light or reaches a critical point, the report added. A spirituality of "self-denial" is often linked to a theology in which the survivor is urged to forgive the perpetrator and not to take remedial action against him.
Such an approach is "deficient" in many respects, the report notes, and in the context of abuse, to make forgiveness the top priority seems "perverse" when the welfare and safety of the person being abused is at a risk.
A couple of years ago I reviewed the book Healing Violent Men: A Model for Christian Communities, which addresses many of the same issues that appear to be raised in this report. What took them so long? The authors of this book identified and explained the problems years ago and only now are Anglican officials starting to catch up. How many women suffered in the interim?
Women & Religion:
Comments
Most abusers are egotists who measure themselves by some internalized ideal. That makes them hollow.
A strong ego doesn’t need the merit badges of life, nor does it need power and money for their own sake.
Religions tend to turn males into egotists, who measure themselves against a false ideal.
You say that there is a connection between the Christian God and abuse towards women. Where do you find evidence to back this up? I see that comments have been posted about different congregations and priests making comments, but where do you personally find this information. For instance, can you find verses in the Christian Bible that could help me to understand how men twist and connect abuse and religion?
Tara: There are two links in this piece which will take you to further information. They are the two links that aren’t “This is London.”
At least the Anglicans are admitting there is a problem. I doubt that the Catholics would do the same and I’m SURE the Evangelical crowd won’t.
The bible clearly tells husbands to love their wife as there own bodies; further more, if a husband is abusive to his wife he is breaking his vows. God is perfect and cannot be abusive.
Well, since the god in the bible is abusive, then god cannot exist. QED
If you don’t know Someone, it is pointless to place them in a box of your own construction. God bless, Van
If God does not exist, you do not exist.
If God does not exist, you do not exist.
Prove it.
EVIDENCE PLEASE?????
Not just some baseless report commissioned by the church.
FACTS PLEASE???????
Show the correlation between Christianity and domestic abues.
Again, unsupported contentions made by someone who doesn’t really understand what they are attacking.
Feel free to read the book I linked to for more information, if you’re really interested.
Unless and until you’ve read the material in question, you’re the one who cannot claim to understand the subject. I, for one, have read the material cited here and more.
You show no evidence to back your hypothesis up. If you took the time to see the the evidence for it AND the evidence against it then I might have respect for your hypothesis.But you are just trying to make your opinion fact. Which it most likely isn’t
It’s not “my hypothesis.” It’s the conclusion of the Archbishop of Canterbury - and many others, a couple of whom I link to in the post.
If you took the time to see that I am citing the research and conclusions of others, rather than simply advancing an unsupported idea I made up on my own, I might find something in your complaint to use. So, if you have any constructive and substantive criticism of the research and findings of the people I cite here, I encourage you to provide it. If not, what’s your beef?
wow.. let me say this.. read the old testiment and then rethink your decision on this article. as for your proving that god exists i have noticed some very big flaws in modern science. based upon the big bang theory on how the universe was created. a large amount of energy and mass pooled together and eventually exploded thus creating the universe.. (in a basic form) well according to the laws of physics matter and energy cannot be lost or gained they can only change form. ie matter into energy energy into matter (for an example fat in the human body can be used as energy) so if this is the case then where did all the matter and energy in the universe originate?? that my friend leads me to conclude that everything was created by someone or something which according to the bible and many religions was god or a series of gods. as for you saying that forgiveness compounds the problem. in a way i suppose it does, but where is your support that god is a bully? if we look at god as a bully because lets say the great flood which dealt with the problem of “unfaithfullness” for a while, then how is that different then punishing a spousal abuser in the current legal system. its not really that different so then we could say that the legal system is a bully? yes we could. when jesus was asked what the 2 most important commandments were he simply said love your god and love your neighbour. and loving your neighbour does not just simply mean that you love the people that live near you, it means that your should try to love everyone even “sinners” and everyone from different religions. so how could an abusive god prioritise love over everything else? the god wouldn’t therefore the christian god is not an abusive god but a loving one. just because some people in the church are saying these things it doesnt make it true. do some more research maybe even go to a local church and ask for a bible, they will most likely give it to you for free, and read the bible with an open mind.. while that will be hard to do for most people you can ask someone from the church to help you understand somethings that you do not. if you do this i am confident that you will change your mind about this article. but do yourself a favor and dont stop there read the entire bible and even study other religions holy books or religous texts. and if you read them with an open mind maybe you wont need to make some very crude and immediate judgements…. after you have done this i would be happy to discuss anything with you. even if you dont change your mind as everyone is entitled to their own opinion. oh and by the way the bible isnt made up it is recorded history, you should be able to find records of events in philistine history and egyption history. so please educate yourself before saying hurtfull things about others beliefs.. spousal abuse does happen in every type of household even atheist ones so rather then looking for something or someone to blame lets work on getting rid of this problem that knows no boundries.
oops i did not mean to post that more then once.. i would appreciate it if you could delete all but one of those posts.. =) thanks and have a nice day
I have read the Old Testament - several times and in several translations. It’s rude and arrogant for you to assume that I have not.
What are your qualifications in modern science?
Those “laws of physics” are a part of the universe and thus not necessarily constraints on the origins of the universe. However, according to physicists the sum total of energy in the universe is zero, thus no matter or energy have been created.
It’s a mistake to base religious beliefs on erroneous notions about science.
I think that the support is in the above article.
Unfaithfulness isn’t abuse; the abusive spouse is the one who beats and kills the spouse accused of being unfaithful. Raising this example is thus just another point in favor of the analogy between your god and an abusive spouse.
Abusive spouses prioritize love — love towards themselves above all else.
Have you ever considered going somewhere to take courses on basic science and asking people for help on the things you do not understand?
I have educated myself — not only about religion, but about science as well. This article is based on my research. If you can offer any substantive and empirical arguments against it please do so. If all you can do is arrogantly insist that I wouldn’t have written it if I had read the Bible, then you have nothing to offer here.
The Christian God is the God of Abraham. THe same as the Jews and the Muslims.
You should include all three of these when making comments such as you do.
You say that God does not exist and you prove this by saying that evolution does…so how can you prove that there isn’t a God? You can’t.
Who says this, and where?
Whether one can or can’t depends entirely upon how “God” is defined. So long as you don’t define your terms, you can’t expect anyone to evaluate the question long enough to care, much less try to construct a proof in any particular direction.
As a Christian woman who has been thru abuse I can strongly claim that the Church does not support or encourage abuse in anyway. The Church fully supported me when I decided to walk out of marriage as God would have never wanted to see His children suffer. I do not agree with you. What you have done is taken the Word of God out of context. God does say marriage is for life, but He is not a rigid God the way religious systems make Him out to be. I think if you are in the right church, the Church will always encourage you to do what’s best for you. I totally disagree with your article and your effort to prove the non-existence of God … even portray Him as a sadist. You just know nothing about HIm. And you cannot find Him by researching.
Way to go Rasangani!!!
I totally agree! Not all churches are old fasioned, religous groups that just try to glorify themself. And the ones that are need to study the Bible alittle more but most of all aim at getting to know God a little bit. Most churches now days are carring. Most churches believe that #1 we should love God, #2 love eachother. By getting to know God and opening our minds (and hearts) to him we discover that he does love us more than we can ever imagine. His relationship is like a man and wife, but it is also like a father and his children more than anything. Parents discipline their children so that they will learn right and wrong, whats good and bad. The same goes with God. WE CHOOSE to be screw ups and when we make bad choices there are consequences.
While I agree that women should be allowed to leave their abusive husbands for their own sake as well as for the sake of the children, and that women shouldn’t have to submit to and obey their husbands (since the husband doesn’t have to submit to and obey his wife), and I also agree in allowing women to get to know and enjoy their bodies both during sex and even without a partner, since I am a Pro-Life Christian who opposes abortion, who are you to preach against violence and hatred against women, and actually call yourself Pro-Woman, when abortion is the worse act of violence and hatred against women anyone can commit on a woman? Especially since you lie to and deceive women by making them believe that abortion is safe, when in fact, it isn’t? Abortion doesn’t solve all of your problems, either. If it did, women who have had an abortion in the past wouldn’t now be coming forward and claiming that they regret their abortions, and women now trying to conceive after an abortion wouldn’t wind up with fertility problems. Until you start opposing abortion and start preaching its harmful affects, you have no right whatsoever to preach against violence and hatred against women.
I hope you will support this claim, rather than just make it and walk away.
Safe is always a relative term - taking a shower isn’t perfect safe. Is abortion more or less safe than carrying a pregnancy to term?
What about women who don’t regret their abortions?
Begging the Question, since you haven’t established that abortion is a form of violence and hatred against women. You can’t assert something, fail to support it, and then pretend a conclusion based on that assertion is both obvious and true.
Joann, abortion was never supposed to be the front line of unwanted birth. Responsiblity was but that doesnot mean that ANYONE or ANYTHING has the right to dictate my or any woman’s behavior. I am Prochoice - Part of that responsiblity is effective birth control that is safe. Part of that is changing the idea of entitlement to control women on the part of men. Every child should be a wanted child. Women should also not be economically punished for having a child either by circumstance or by choice. I know but we are still only making 77 cents on the dollar, are punished for problems with child care and are frequently overlooked (unofficially) for promotion . A woman should not be consigned to the ghetto because she is also a human with human urges. But all to frequently they are. You will not agree with me on this, but I am going to say it anyway- no woman should be forced to carry to term the child of a rapist or incest. Such an act punishes the woman for a situation unjustly. If you wish to so punish the woman, then you need to punish the man as well- Long term imprisonment with immediate awarding of ALL material property, pensions, etc to the raped woman. And donot allow it to be forgiven by bankruptcy. Now logically one might say but if you are going to hand all of this over to the raped woman , what if he has a wife and kids- they would be on the street for his crime. Why is it anymore fair to condemn the victim to the streets ? (And no, I think that the wife should be forced to negotiate civilly with the victim so that neither totally loses more than 50%.)The Abrahamic religions are quite specific as to what should be done to women who have sex without marriage.
Where in the bible does it say that we must harm our spouses?
Where in it does it say God is abusive?
NO WHERE! in the Bible it does not say that we are to abuse our spouses, if anything it says the oposite, it says that we must cherish our wives and respect our husbands. Where did u get these results of more abusive households in christian familys?
Where are the facts?
If anything, this is all this is just opinion without valid statistics.
When you use the term christian, do you mean people that believe there`s such thing as a “god”, or do you mean people who actually dedicate their lives to serve Christ and spend time in prayer and worship him?
And those pictures of “God”, who painted them? If no one has seen God how are we to know what he looks like?
Treating them as less than equal is harmful.
God is abusive quite often throughout the Old Testament.
I mean people who self-identify as Christian.
I don’t believe in any gods.
I suspect that abuse occurs regardless of religion. Religionists might be more likely to actively abuse, while others might abuse through neglect. Atheists are usually interested in the world, so they are “unfaithful” to their spouses because of their intellectual curiosity. Religionists use their spouses as tools in acting out.
Austin, well done - you have hit the core of religion: oppression of females and fear of the female birth canal (as Christopher Hitchens nicely put it). Female genital mutilation, keeping girls out of school - all symptoms of sick oppressive religions.
@Richard
Where in it does it say God is abusive?
NO WHERE! in the Bible it does not say that we are to abuse our spouses, if anything it says the oposite, it says that we must cherish our wives and respect our husbands. Where did u get these results of more abusive households in christian familys?
Respect, cherish…but also be subordinate and never question.
Where are the facts?
Right in your bible. Take a look (since one who denies these quotes obviously has never really read his/ her bible):
God Tortures the Philistines;
1 Samuel 5:1-12
50,070 Israelites Killed by God
1 Samuel 6:1-21
God Commands Saul to commit genocide against the Amelekites
1 Samuel 15:1-11
God Punishes Saul for killing ALL of the Amelikites (an incomplete genocide)
1 Samuel 15:12-34
God Torments Saul with an Evil Spirit
1 Samuel 16:14-23
specifically: 16:14 “The spirit of Yahweh turned away from Saul, and an evil spirit from Yahweh tormented him.”
God Demands War with the Philistines
2 Samuel 5:23-25, 1 Chronicles 14:8-17
God Kills a Man Just for Touching the Ark
2 Samuel 6:1-6, 1 Chronicles 13:8-13
God Kills &0,000 Israelites because David took a census when Yahweh told him to
2 Samuel 24:1, 1 Chronicles 21:1
1 Corinthians 11:5-8
“And for a woman to pray or prophecy with her head uncovered shows disrespect for her head.
Indeed, if a woman does go without a veil, she should have her hair cut off too.
But for a man it is not right to have his head covered, since he is the image of God and reflects God’s glory; but a woman is the reflection of man’s glory.”
1 Corinthians 14:34 -
“As in all the churches of God’s holy people, women are to remain quiet in the assemblies, since they have no permission to speak: theirs is a subordinate part.
If there is anything they want to know, they should ask their husbands at home: it is shameful for a woman to speak in the assembly.”
1 Timothy 2:11-12
“I give no permission for a woman to teach or to have authority over a man. A woman ought to be quiet.”
Ephesians 5:22-23
“Wives should be subject to their husbands as to the Lord, since as Christ is head of the Church and saves the whole body, so is the husband the head of his wife.”
I don’t know, sounds like an abusive ass to me. Someone who behaved like this in the real world would be considered irredeemable.
If anything, this is all this is just opinion without valid statistics.
I couldn’t agree more. Given that this comes from the bible, it’s all just baseless conjecture, completely without fact.
Cheerfully without an abusive overlord,
Andy
Ooops… apparently I don’t know how to close italicization.
Italics was supposed to end after, “Where are the facts?”
and only “If anything, this is all this is just opinion without valid statistics” was supposed to be italicized after that.
I’m a blogging doofus.
I find it ironic that the last posts were on Christmas Eve…
I can see how many people that read through the old testament can believe those things about God. I can understand how many times people choose to believe that he is an evil, overpowering, being..a kind of a bully… Where most of the old testament was defined by shut up and do what you are told.
I am an Evangelical Christian that believes in creationism and the authority of the bible. I also firmly believe in the eprideful and deceptive hearts of man, how we can abuse and twist, use anything to justify our selfish beliefs and our behavior (whether that behavior is to justify our inability to control our sex drive, our inability to love our spouse and treat them with kindness, our inability to teat those different from us with dignity and respect, or our quest for superiority and power). At one point, in the bible, the Apostle Paul says that he does not even trust his own heart to show him the truth, because it is so twisted and evil, so easily deceived. The Jesus of the new testament was kindest to those that were the smallest in society at the time. He was hardest on those that used rules, power, and religion to oppress and abuse, to misrepresent the heart of God.
We, as Jesus followers are supposed to model him. He was self sacrificing, to the point of death. That is the way we are supposed to “lead” our homes. We are supposed to be the ones that love our children and wives. In Romans it talks about “not thinking anyone better than ourselves”. It does not have a wife exception clause in there, nor an Atheist or Muslim, nor anyone else we may not agree with.
I guess the bottom line is that eventually we will all find out who is right. I think we will all be surprised, because we will all be wrong. It is hard to define something infinite with finite means. God wants us to love him and to love each other…to follow his commands and to take care of eachother…It is for our own good, not his. He was here before we got here, and he’ll be here when we are no longer here…
I doubt it. Eventually we will all be dead and that will be the end of it. We will not be conscious, so we cannot be “surprised.”
And you think you know this because …?
Wow and amazing number of Christians showed up for this one too bad they are all hit and run.
I found it interesting reading your piece however; I feel that you are lacking general evidence to back up your claim. Yes you have a few individual cases but considering the 10,000 years this “Christian” God has been around, I find you seem to have very little support for your case; I especially would like to point out Ephesians 5:25 and Colossians 3:19, which are just two examples of Paul, the man who penned most of the New Testament, saying explicitly “Husbands, love your wives…” One of these verses goes on to say flat out do not be harsh or resentful or bitter to her, the other says to lover her as Christ loved the church. Which brings me to my next point that many times in the Bible, the New Testament especially, relates the church to being the “Bride of Christ,” often going so far as to spur husbands onto caring much more for their wives comfort than their own, going as far as laying your life down for her. I also would question the author based on the fact that he seems to hold a very skewed image of this god who he is attacking, a view which reminds me very much of Jim Carey’s line in “Bruce Almighty,” in the movie Carey relates to his girlfriend, “God is an angry kid with a magnifying glass and I’m the ant,” I find it difficult to come at this image of God considering what he has done. Let’s look at the Bible, we turned from God and did our own thing, God being the loving God that he is didn’t want robots worshiping him so he allowed us our free will, a choice that allowed us to screw up our lives and make a mess of His perfect world that He created, and instead of doing what most of us in His shoes would do and wipe everything out and start over from scratch he stayed committed to us His creation. God being loving as He is, yet still being perfect, found a way to pass our sentence onto someone else, His son. Jesus being God took our death sentence of an eternity in Hell. God then raised him from the dead three days later, fulfilling prophecy and giving him the keys to the grave freeing us from our punishment. This is why I find it difficult to see the author’s point of view, when you look at the facts laid out in the Bible God is seen for whom he must be a perfect example for how we should treat others. Many ask if God is in charge then why is there pain and suffering and problems in this world, the answer to that goes back to free will, for every action there is a consequence that is a result of “The Fall,” (Adam and Eves initial sin), a connection with that sin we still carry. Now some would ask, “Why can’t this all powerful all loving God just let everyone into heaven, turn a blind eye to the sin,” and the answer to that is simple, if you put the sun in the middle of a square room could perfectly bright light coexist with the darkest of dark, no chance, the sun would over power any shadow that could possibly be present. God has done everything he could do to bring us back to him even sacrificing his life for his bride, and Jesus was our example of how we should live. Now here comes the largest problem that I have found with the author’s case, the author is reflecting the image the wrong way, he is looking at fallible, corrupt, sinful, (and we all are, Paul called himself the ‘Chief of Sinners’), people; rather what this author needs to do is look at God based on His Word and His Character. We are all guilty of viewing God based on Christians, look at history popular Christians haven’t painted a very good picture of Christ over the years, but that is exactly why we have the Bible and not just Christians to look at, whereas all Christians are still sinful and imperfect, the Bible and God’s grace perfects our weakness in God’s eyes though tragically we are still not immune to sin. And that is the problem with judging God based on Christians you are trying to see a perfect painting through, fogged over scratched, cracked, broken junk glasses. So please when you do try and view God through us please remember that we are messed up and not perfect but God is.
Why is that it is the Christian organisations that are the ones there to support the women and children of domestic abuse? I never here about athiest groups that are voluntarily going out in the community and housing women and children of domestic abuse. Not where I live anyway.
Colossians 3:19 commands husbands to love their wives and never treat them harshly.
Husbands are to love their wives as they do their own bodies. Ephesians 5:29
Child abuse is also strongly condemned by God. Although discipline is important, its purpose should be to correct and direct the child to righteousness, not as a way of taking out anger unjustly. “And now a word to you fathers. Don’t make your children angry by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction approved by the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).
Colossians 3:21 says, “Fathers, don’t aggravate your children. If you do, they will become discouraged and quit trying.” We should do nothing to destroy the spirit of our children, or destroy their innocence. Jesus strongly warns those who might cause children to stumble, or lose faith in Him (Matthew 18:6).
You have never looked. All that’s necessary for a group to be “atheistic” is for it to not promote or require belief in gods. There are lots of secular organizations - public and government - which help victims of abuse.
You are a sharp young man, Austin. I was a Christian for 30 years and have read the bible straight thru twice. The god of the Old Testament is frightening, arrogant and abusive. You have hit the heart of it so very well. There may be a very good reason this book is pronounced Buy-Bull! Because that’s what you’re buying if you believe it!!