Bill O'Reilly has revealed to the nation that secular progressives have a 'very secret plan' to 'diminish Christian philosophy in the U.S.A.' It's clear that he isn't clever enough to have connected the dots and figured this out on his own, so someone must have talked. We have a traitor in our midst who must be found and dealt with immediately!

Media Matters summarizes O'Reilly's revelations:

O’Reilly said these three elements operate “in tandem”: O’REILLY: [Y]ou use your left-wing smear websites to go after anybody who stands up for Christmas. If you stand up for Christmas, they come after you. So the tandem intimidates. The tandem intimidates. Suing on one hand; smearing on the other hand.

The result? According to O’Reilly: O’REILLY: In every secular progressive country, they’ve wiped out religion ... Joseph Stalin, Adolf Hitler, Mao Zedong, Fidel Castro, all of them. That’s the first step. Get the religion out of there, so that we can impose our big-government, progressive agenda.

It appears that O’Reilly has been provided very detailed information about the future secular take-over of America. He may even know about the secret re-education facilities we are building for Christians and the black helicopters that are being used to keep an eye on people like O’Reilly himself. I warned headquarters that we needed to have a monitoring device implanted in O’Reilly’s butt, but they said that he was too looney for anyone to ever take seriously. Sadly, it looks like my concerns are being proven true. We’ll have to act quickly in order to stop the damage from spreading too far.

And if you happen to be reading this without authorization, please remain calm and stay where you are — some nice men in black suits will be along shortly to take care of you.

 

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