In Gay Marriage: Why It Is Good for Gays, Good for Straights, and Good for America, Jonathan Rauch writes:
Conservatives seem to believe that, if they stop same-sex marriage, they will stop all sorts of other gay-friendly change along with it. They talk as if the alternative to same-sex marriage were to go back to 1950, or at least 1980. With or without gay marriage, however, the world is changing and will continue to change.
Every day more homosexuals are coming out to their friends and families, and so every day more heterosexuals number homosexuals among their loved ones. Not many Americans — not a majority, in any case — wish for their sons and daughters and sisters and brothers and friends a partnerless life in a sexual underworld; they want gay people, like straight people, to have a clean shot at happiness, including partnership.
It’s plausible that conservatives’ efforts will slow the advance of gay rights, but that’s hardly a noble goal or something that anyone will ever be able to look back upon with pride. Are there any conservatives who are willing to boast about their success in delaying civil rights and desegregation? I certainly hope not.
In an important sense, the genie has been let out of the bottle. Gays are accepted enough in society by now that it’s no longer quite so tragic to come out of the closet — certainly not like it was merely 20 years ago. It remains difficult, there is no question about it, but the idea of being gay is no longer unheard of and there are many social structures in place designed to help people in such situations.
Gay Americans have become a significant presence in politics, sports, the workplace, and in millions of families all over the nation. They still have a long way to go, but prospects of widespread bigotry and discrimination no longer seems credible — and since that’s the ultimate consequence of what conservatives would have happen, this means that the conservative agenda on homosexuality is not credible.
The clock will not be turned back. Time will not be reversed. Gay rights and gay marriage will become more and more of a reality, that is inevitable so long as America remains a secular democracy — nothing short of a religious dictatorship will significantly alter the course of events. Conservatives need to make peace with that and find ways to ensure that their concerns are part of the long-term solution rather than a reactionary anchor that must be dragged along like so much dead weight.
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Have read this book, and it is terrific! It really adjusted my way of thinking and talking about this issue. Rauch is every bit as “motivated” as I am to make it happen, but he speaks so clearly and rationally.